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Seafarer1966

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Seafarer1966

Rising early

Lenny Henry is determined to have a lie in bed for a while. He ain't getting up the crack of Dawn anymore.
11:47 Mon 12th Apr 20101 answer, last by milliezoe 11:49 Mon 12th Apr 2010
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Seafarer1966

Gardening implement

What do you call a woman with a spade up her bum? I don't know either but it sure as hell ain't Dawn French.
11:45 Mon 12th Apr 2010
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Seafarer1966

Octopus joke

Even older: An octopus goes into a bar. He bets the barman for free drinks all night that he can play any musical instrument. Someone gives the octopus a guitar. He plays it better then Jimi Hendrix....
14:38 Thu 08th Apr 2010
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Seafarer1966

Hooker joke

Old but worth a repeat: A prostitute is pregnant and goes to the doctor. The doc asks if she knows the father. The prossie replies.....when you eat a tin of beans do you know which one makes you fart?...
14:32 Thu 08th Apr 2010
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Seafarer1966

Grand National

Here's a tip for the Grand National. Creosote at 7/1 odds. It's good over fences....
14:30 Thu 08th Apr 201021 answers, last by marval 18:29 Thu 08th Apr 2010
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Seafarer1966

Airport Security

Heathrow Airport security staff have detained an arab who they discovered had a joint of meat up his bum. It appears he's a member of Hamass.
14:42 Tue 30th Mar 20102 answers, last by marval 14:44 Tue 30th Mar 2010
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Seafarer1966

Rupert, Jock and Paddy

An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman are discussing their children. Rupert says...my son was born on Saint Georges Day so I called him George. Jock says....my son was born on Saint Andrews Day so I...
14:35 Mon 29th Mar 2010
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Seafarer1966

Cliff Richard Joke

Cliff Richard is playing a gig in Shanghai and one of his Chinese fans comes to the dressing room door to see him. Chinaman says....me rike your song Itchy Sore Fanny. Cliff says....I've never sung a...
15:01 Tue 09th Mar 20102 answers, last by Avatar 12:59 Wed 10th Mar 2010
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Seafarer1966

Ancient but worth a repeat

A judge jails and Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman for 20 years each. It's the judges birthday and he's in a good mood so he grants each man the right to take anything they want into jail with...
09:32 Wed 10th Feb 2010
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Seafarer1966

Viagra

Viagra is now available in teabags. It doesn't improve your performance in bed much but it stops your biscuit going soft.
09:23 Wed 10th Feb 20108 answers, last by Billy_Sugger 20:52 Wed 10th Feb 2010
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Seafarer1966

Barbie doll

Kids know far too much at a young age these days. I was in the waiting room and saw a wee girl playing with Barbie and Ken dolls. Barbie was on all fours getting a good seeing to by Ken. I...
14:10 Mon 01st Feb 20104 answers, last by Seafarer1966 13:48 Tue 02nd Feb 2010
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Seafarer1966

Neighbours

I get on really well with my lesbian next door neighbours. They just bought me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood me when I said to them.....I wanna watch.
15:16 Thu 28th Jan 20101 answer, last by another-view 15:17 Thu 28th Jan 2010
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Seafarer1966

Elton John

Elton John goes to a tattooist to get a picture of a Rolls-Royce tattooed on his appendage. The tattooist tries to convince him to get a picture of a Land Rover on it instead. Elton enquires why. The...
14:35 Thu 28th Jan 201020 answers, last by Seafarer1966 13:36 Mon 01st Feb 2010
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Seafarer1966

Basil Brush

What's the difference between Basil Brush and a suicide bomber? A suicide bomber only goes BOOM once.
14:33 Thu 28th Jan 2010
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Seafarer1966

Driving Licence Due to Expire

My photocard driving licence expires in March this year. What's the procedure for renewing it and how much will the DVLA charge? (Please TWR don't post an answer).
14:43 Thu 07th Jan 201010 answers, last by sarah_louise 11:50 Mon 11th Jan 2010
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Seafarer1966

Teacher

An old one but worth a repeat..........Teacher asks the class of seven year olds who can come up with a sentence with the word fascinate. A little girl says she went to the zoo and was fascinated by...
15:36 Thu 31st Dec 20092 answers, last by eddiek 17:15 Thu 31st Dec 2009
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Seafarer1966

Policewoman

A young policewoman was out in the cold weather gathering evidence and she wished she'd put her thermal underwear on. Her colleague advised her to let the police alsatian sniff her lady bits, and the...
17:05 Wed 30th Dec 20094 answers, last by Seafarer1966 17:26 Wed 30th Dec 2009
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Seafarer1966

Big Mac and Fries

Guy goes into MacDonalds and orders a big mac, fries and a drink. The assistant is a beautiful young woman. She asks the customer if she can make it large for another 30p. He says: You already have...
16:52 Wed 30th Dec 20091 answer, last by marval 22:49 Wed 30th Dec 2009
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Seafarer1966

Rick Stein recipe?

Watched Rick Stein on the tv the other night and he cooked duck in orange juice. Can't find the recipe on the internet. Anyone out there be able to help? Many thanks...
08:40 Thu 24th Dec 20093 answers, last by Seafarer1966 12:10 Thu 24th Dec 2009
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Seafarer1966

Corsa B 1.7 Diesel Glow Plug Relay

Where is the glow plug relay on a 2000 plate Corsa B 1.7 (Isuzu engine) diesel?
15:31 Mon 21st Dec 20094 answers, last by virtualvan 00:17 Fri 26th Feb 2010

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