Where Should We Draw The Line ?

[Canary42]

With the almost total embargo on gestures of affection brought upon society by militant misandrists, it occurred to me this morning that I should possibly become "outraged" when addressed as "luv" by female shop assistants, waitresses, checkout operators, etc (yes it happened to me this morning, hence my post here).

Or is it only members of the female gender who are allowed to exercise such extreme displays of touchiness?

[ToraToraTora]

dunno what you're on about luv!

[Mamyalynne]

You want a strop then have one, personally it doesn't bother me a bit Darlin'

[johnny.5]

[AuntPG]

The problem with UK English is there is no generic term for addressing males and females. In North America its normal to say 'Sir' or 'Maam' and of course on the Continent Madame/ Monsieur etc. Here saying 'Thanks Mr. or Thanks Mrs. is almost derogatory.

[davebro]

Spar checkout lady calls me "lovely". I think she must have bad eyesight!

[jennyjoan]

this is nothing to do with gestures but when I was in America I was 40 years old - I was buying 2 big bottles of vodka and the Indian lady refused to serve me as I was under-age. Oh how I laughed. She actually sent for the manager who passed me no problemo. Friend laughed and said the Indian lady musta had cataracts so should have went to an optician.

I have to confess I do say Luv - I really can't end "Thanks without the love". I just be glad to get a pleasant assistant.

[AuntPG]

I could almost deck anyone calling me 'hun' I hate it. Also I've been called 'babe' by male friends, which annoys me. ( no references to the film please lol!)

[bookbinder]

I am Yorkshire, born and bred. I was once in a London theatre. When the interval came, I went to the ice-cream girl, who was standing in front of the stage, and I said, "Two tubs, love." She gave me a look that would have cracked a window, and she replied, "That's four shillings, SIR," very firmly.

[vulcan42]

I treat all forms of endearment from shop assistants as compliments, it's a friendly gesture. A friend of mine, who is entitled to be called Doctor and /or Professor, was called luv one day. "Don't call me that" she said, "Sorry, luv", said the shop assistant.

[lady-janine]

Well, mi lover I'm not sure how I should answer this.

[Patsy33]

I'm sure a lot of people like most terms of endearment, these days. There's a lot of depressed, old & lonely people out there, and addressing them like my love or darling, makes them feel like somebody cares.

[Barsel]

Who remembers Bet Lynch (Julie Goodyear) in Coronation St?
Y'alright cocker?
I got called this once by a shop assistant when I'd moved to a different part of Manchester for a short period of time.
Must admit I was taken by surprise.

[zebo]

I recall landing back at, I think, East Midlands and just through arrivals there was a Greggs where we were addressed as 'luv', that's the real sign you're back in England!

[Ken4155]

I didn't mind being called 'Pet' by a Geordie barmaid at Newcastle racecourse back in 2006. It was the £4.80 she charged for the two pints of John Smith's Smooth that upset me when almost every other course we had visited at that time was charging around £2.

[Ken4155]

^
That should have read £2 per pint, obvs :-)

[Atheist]

I think it's best not to take offence at the various forms of address. My favourite is 'mate' when I am addressed like that by young lads at the checkout. It's their world and they are not trying to be offensive; don't get in a strop about something so unimportant.

[Ellipsis]

> Where Should We Draw The Line?

If you call someone "my lover" in Estuary English then be prepared, but one can make appropriate allowances for anybody who was originally from anywhere outside the southeast of England ...

[andy-hughes]

I think this comes under the wider umbrella of intention - if someone is clearly being friendly and using a local term of affection, it would be churlish to take offence.

That said, when someone probably younger than me uses the term 'young man' in a disrespectful way, then I do take offence.

It's all about intention, and we can all take a little time to read that in others.

[Ellipsis]

[jourdain2]

Like Bookbinder I am Yorkshire born and bred and 'luv' is a completely normal form of address. It applies to males and females impartially and is used equally by both genders (am I allowed to say that these days? Perhaps I should say 'by everyone'.)

Anyone expressing touchiness at being so addressed would face a lot of raised eyebrows and immediate assumptions of being 'snotty-nosed' (and other equivalents) and be classed as a beyond-the-pale southerner - probably from London.

I'm not too keen on the 'Bless', which now seems to follow me around; but it's meant as concern for and appreciation of my advancing years and so I grit my teeth and accept it as well-meaning. :)