Abuse???? If I was being abusive I would refer to you as a piece of tubby, unfit, child-molesting obsessed, absent father, single, lonely piece of fat scotch lard, with zero intellect and humour of a severly retarded lunatic.
Instead I say you are really funny.
Oh the irony. A man tries to be nice and this is the response.
Don't know many halfbrained people with a degree in English and Journalism Legend :)
I do giggle though, rather a lot it has to be sad. I think it's endearing.