help and advice for my friend

[Bobbisox]

I have just has a very disturbing phone call fro a really good friend, she was crying so hard I could barely make out what she was saying.
Basically, she is saying she can't 'hide' her face much longer? confused? so was I, she says the bags under her eyes are making her feel ugly and she can't look in a mirror, I see K every Tuesday night and I have tried saying to her she looks no different to me but she says this is because I see her 'all the time' she's now thinking up reasons for not going to work and she says the customers are looking at her, I know this sounds bizarre to all of you but I am at loss how I can support her, she's not ugly and even if she was, she radiates warmth to all around her, I really don't know what to do

Joy

[craft1948]

Yes Prudie..............it's a curse.

[Bobbisox]

she's always been...nice to look at Prudie and in no way over the top bothered about her looks, always had low esteem though

[Prudie]

I was also speaking from experience craft ;-)

[Bobbisox]

yeh,yeh,yeh..haha

[Sqad]

I am not a "hit" with mental disorders, but many are the result of hormonal imbalance and i am not talking about female menopausal hormones.

One that comes to mind is hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid) which is unusual but can occur and is known as "myxoedema madness" and can be cured by taking thyroxine.

I am sure that the doctor has thought of this....but worth checking.

[Bobbisox]

sqad many thanks, I will ask her to ask her GP about this, I best not mention the "myxoedema madness" though :-(

[boxtops]

It certainly sounds like depression to me, and I know how that feels - seeing a counsellor could be a very good move. I know myself that when you get depressed, small things become completely out of proportion - and not liking how she looks is becoming the centre of her life.

I wonder if her depression and/or anxiety is making her agoraphobic (been there) and she's making any excuse not to have to leave the house? If so, that's a scary place to be - and people who've not been there find it very hard to comprehend.

She's done the right thing, seeing the GP and the counsellor. What she needs now is kindness and support, even if people don't understand what she's feeling.

[anneasquith]

poor woman.....................she has family and friends for support,,,,,,,,,,,, is there a possibility bobbi, that when she phoned you " something may have triggered the outburst "of her anxiety ?

[puddle-duck]

I agree with Boxtops sounds like depression. I've been there, It's a huge struggle just to do ordinary things. Your outlook isn't the same as others & at times you feel a failure & a waste of space. You need strong supportive people around you.

Seeing her GP will give her the support she needs, but those close to her will need to give that support too, that is crucial. No one understood what I was going through & that made the recovery process all the more difficult for me.

It's good that she has a friend in you Bobbi :)