help and advice for my friend

[Bobbisox]

I have just has a very disturbing phone call fro a really good friend, she was crying so hard I could barely make out what she was saying.
Basically, she is saying she can't 'hide' her face much longer? confused? so was I, she says the bags under her eyes are making her feel ugly and she can't look in a mirror, I see K every Tuesday night and I have tried saying to her she looks no different to me but she says this is because I see her 'all the time' she's now thinking up reasons for not going to work and she says the customers are looking at her, I know this sounds bizarre to all of you but I am at loss how I can support her, she's not ugly and even if she was, she radiates warmth to all around her, I really don't know what to do

Joy

[Nosha123]

crikey... it sounds like she is being a bit irrational.
Is she hormonal. .or depressed...
Does she have low self esteem?
I'd be a bit worried about her state of mind too if i was you...
She wont do anything stupid will she?
is she on any medication?
Maybe you need to gently recommend she speaks to her GP...

[Nosha123]

Has she recently had any knocks to her confidence? Partner leaving her? bereavement?

[cathfromsaron]

ditto and if a boost at the hairdressers doesn't work, GP would be best advice x

[woofgang]

everything Nosha says plus.....has anyone been putting ideas into her head?

[TOWIE]

sounds like she has more issues than just bags under her eyes Joy, I think the bigger picture needs looking at.

[grasscarp]

why dont you just tell her that if she thinks she has bags - which you have never noticed, that she uses a concealer
http://www.videojug.c...-bags-under-your-eyes

[Bobbisox]

she's not hormonal Nosha, she's 56 now, but she does have low self esteem, apparently she's been to her GP and they said she should see a councillor? but she's having none of that, saying "how can they possibly help my appearance"
I really am very concerned about her

[Bobbisox]

she's divorced and has been for years, she has three wonderful daughters and has been hiding this stuff from them, I have suggested cosmetics to her grasscarp but as DEN is saying, it is deeper than this

[TOWIE]

Joy - she can still be hormonal at 56 (I should know) - don't think this is about bags under eyes.

[ummmm]

Yep, My mum's still hormonal at 58.

[Bobbisox]

perhaps you are right DEN but hearing here sob on the phone was horrible, she's just rang me back and told me she has a free consultation at Transform tomorrow at 3pm, I know in my heart this is not the answer though

[Nosha123]

poor love.. I would say her daughters need to be told. If they are as lovely as you say then they will want to help. Sounds like there is something a bit deeper seated. And I think she does need some counselling.... ask her to try that.. and if it then doesnt work then tell her she could get surgery if she is that unhappy... but I think the problem is in her head not under her eyes...
Hope she doesnt do anything silly...

[albaqwerty]

Could you offer to go with her to see the councillor? We all know that the councillor won't do anything about the bags under her eyes (as she sees them) but will help to boost her confidence and to make her feel more comfortable in herself.

You could always try the 'well, you've got nothing to lose by see a councillor' approach.
Wishing her well xxx

[TOWIE]

Hope she realises that if she has her eyes done, she will have more than bags for a few weeks afterwards - are you going with her to the consultation ?

[Bobbisox]

She's finally told her eldest who is going to take her tomorrow for the consultation, apparently this has gone on for a couple of years now, she said she's managed to hide it from me and the others we go out with

[treetops1]

I have bags under my eyes and feel as if I always have. I can sympathise with her to a certain degree. I have worn heavy eye makeup since being 16 and am now 64 and still wear it. ( purple with black eyeliner +mascara ) If she is getting to the stage where it is affecting her daily life I can only suggest camouflage as in a pair of glasses. Try some on which cut off the bag, clear lens if she doesn't need glasses. I find creams and potions make them worse.

[Bobbisox]

Alba, I have said this to her in a lengthy phone call but to no avail, I have offered to be there whenever she needs me DEN, like tomorrow but her daughter is going to take her

[TOWIE]

Does she have bags under her eyes ?

[Bobbisox]

the GP has told her it's heriditary and not much can be done so she should live with it, if it was ethical I would post you a picture of her, she's really quite pretty

[Bobbisox]

<hereditary >