We have a relative who has clinical depression... the long term , tablets for the rest of their lives depression (not I am feeling a bit down sort ).
Well done you for recognising that you need some extra assistance ... now phone the surgery for an appointment and when you are in there tell them you need help right now not a tea and sympathy approach . Tell them about the suicidal thoughts ... they should be there to help, although I know that a lot of mental health patients have to advocate for themselves at the very time they feel least like doing it ... be honest and ask the receptionist if you are with a group practice if any of the partners have mental health as one of their specialisms ... that helps a lot.
I typed suicidal thoughts in ask.co uk, and there were lots of links here and in the US of A.
http://dailystrength.org/c/Depression/support- group
even if you just read the others' 'stories' it helps you to realise you are not suffering alone really. By the way a lot of the things that you are experiencing would knock even the best balanced folks off kilter!!!
http://www.samaritans.org/
http://www.have-a-heart.com/suicide.html
http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/ment alhealth/depression/feelingsuicidal
just to see what others think.
Go on take that first step, love Sense.