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Suicidal Thoughts
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I experienced a psychotic episode last year and began hearing voices. I am also taking anti-depressants, but for the first time I have begun to feel suicidal. My mother has recently entered a home because she is suffering from dementia, my best friend is very seriously ill and my brother and I are no longer communicating. I do not have close family or friends to call upon and sadly I've never been popular and able to mix with people comfortably. At 50, the sense of loneliness and despair is all engulfing and I feel it's all too much and that my life and future prospects are never going to improve. I accept I sound like a self obsessed whinger, but I'm at the end of my tether and just don't know what to do.
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Hey Ripley,
Just thought I'd check how you're doing hun. Sounds like you had a bit of a turn again. I hope you're feeling a bit better now. As Styley says the internet is no replacement for human contact but its here if you need us. I myself am what you would call a manic depressive or bi-polar. I have really low moments where all I want to do is hide away from everyone and shut people out. I have also had similar thoughts to you. I have come on to AB on a number of occasions when I have felt down and lots of ABers have cheered me up and made me feel better about myself.
Come and join us in Chatterbank whenever you have time or Religion & Spirituality (under Society & Culture) as Theland has mentioned. We are here to help each other out. We also like putting the kettle on and having a cuppa and some biscuits. I like Hobnobs if you're offering ;-)
Please come back and let it all out of your system whenever you feel the need to hun.
Take care
tigger xxx
Just thought I'd check how you're doing hun. Sounds like you had a bit of a turn again. I hope you're feeling a bit better now. As Styley says the internet is no replacement for human contact but its here if you need us. I myself am what you would call a manic depressive or bi-polar. I have really low moments where all I want to do is hide away from everyone and shut people out. I have also had similar thoughts to you. I have come on to AB on a number of occasions when I have felt down and lots of ABers have cheered me up and made me feel better about myself.
Come and join us in Chatterbank whenever you have time or Religion & Spirituality (under Society & Culture) as Theland has mentioned. We are here to help each other out. We also like putting the kettle on and having a cuppa and some biscuits. I like Hobnobs if you're offering ;-)
Please come back and let it all out of your system whenever you feel the need to hun.
Take care
tigger xxx
I've only just seen your question, so my apologies for my late arrival. Lots of us on AB have been through dark times and I really feel for you Ripley. I know it's difficult to drag yourself out of the way you're feeling, but I agree with Styley - only don't go for anything that's likely to worry or burden you. You don't need other people's problems on your shoulders right now, so go gently. How about taking yourself along to Age Concern to ask how you can help? They welcome volunteers with open arms. There are always elderly people who need a bit of shopping done, and who love a bit of company - just a half an hour visit from someone and a chat over a cup of tea often makes their day. It's not a difficult or worrying task, and you'll be surprised how helping in ways like this can lift your spirits and help you to gain confidence - and you'll make new friends into the bargain. Just think about it, eh? There is light at the end of the tunnel, Ripley - really there is. x
Hi Ripley,
only just read through this thread, what an amazing response you've had, there really are lots of kind, caring and compassionate folks on here.
I think Dudees suggestion of getting a dog is a brilliant idea. It would get you out and about a couple of times a day you would also meet other dog walkers. Pets give you loads of unconditional love, and can be very theraputic.
Have you thought about joining a singles group, not one that deals in looking for romance, just a group of folks that go for walks or day trips, it's more a companion type thing. My fiances mother joined one recently and it's given her a whole new outlook on life.
Are there any support groups for people that have had a sex change operation ? maybe that could be something else you could have a look into.
I truly do hope you can get the help and support that you need, i myself have suffered with depression in the past and it's one of the worst things to experience, but as naomi says there is a light at the end of the tunnel, believe me it's there.
Thinking of you ripley, take care and big ((((((hugs)))))) xxx
only just read through this thread, what an amazing response you've had, there really are lots of kind, caring and compassionate folks on here.
I think Dudees suggestion of getting a dog is a brilliant idea. It would get you out and about a couple of times a day you would also meet other dog walkers. Pets give you loads of unconditional love, and can be very theraputic.
Have you thought about joining a singles group, not one that deals in looking for romance, just a group of folks that go for walks or day trips, it's more a companion type thing. My fiances mother joined one recently and it's given her a whole new outlook on life.
Are there any support groups for people that have had a sex change operation ? maybe that could be something else you could have a look into.
I truly do hope you can get the help and support that you need, i myself have suffered with depression in the past and it's one of the worst things to experience, but as naomi says there is a light at the end of the tunnel, believe me it's there.
Thinking of you ripley, take care and big ((((((hugs)))))) xxx
Thank you once again for all of your kind and considered responses. I did have a dog for fifteen years and a cat as well. She lasted eighteen years. I do believe they kept me active, occupied and far less lonely until they died a few years ago. The trouble is I can no longer afford vets bills and would hate to see an animal suffer merely because I am unable to pay for treatment. I am thinking of volunteering for charity work, but my mood needs to improve considerably before I can contemplate such activities. Best wishes to you all.
It does not need to improve at all pumpkin, sometimes we have to do stuff like volunteer work and things we'd rather not do that force us to smile and act 'normal' in order to get to some state that is considered normality.
So you had a sex change... big deal... why do you think we still wouldn't care? Did you kill someone? Abuse a child? Kick a kitten? Please... you seem like a nice person in a bad place, no one's going to knock you for that.
That said... I know nothing about this so I found this for you http://dailystrength.org/c/Transgender/support -group which I got from this http://heartcorps.com/journeys/ I don't know if it'll help but perhaps it might help point you in the right direction of a support group? I hope so, sounds like you could do with it.
I do know about isolation and lonliness though and I imagine you must feel a fair bit of that. That's why I said in my first paragraph about sometimes having to do things we don't much fancy doing in order to get where we're going or what we won't.
If you're that concerned about your GP's potential reaction have you considered changing GP?
So you had a sex change... big deal... why do you think we still wouldn't care? Did you kill someone? Abuse a child? Kick a kitten? Please... you seem like a nice person in a bad place, no one's going to knock you for that.
That said... I know nothing about this so I found this for you http://dailystrength.org/c/Transgender/support -group which I got from this http://heartcorps.com/journeys/ I don't know if it'll help but perhaps it might help point you in the right direction of a support group? I hope so, sounds like you could do with it.
I do know about isolation and lonliness though and I imagine you must feel a fair bit of that. That's why I said in my first paragraph about sometimes having to do things we don't much fancy doing in order to get where we're going or what we won't.
If you're that concerned about your GP's potential reaction have you considered changing GP?
Despite her polka dot underwear and her penchant for gallons of wine, our scatty China is a wise little bird at times, and on this occasion she's absolutely right. Sometimes we do have to do things we don't feel like doing. New approaches may seem daunting, or even scary, but life is for living - and it doesn't just come to us. We have to go out there and meet it, and if we don't do it for ourselves, then no one else is going to do it for us. I know it's the hardest thing in the world to do when you're down, and the first step is definitely the most difficult one to take, but if you can muster up the courage to take that step, then do it - I'm sure you won't regret it. It's only a phone call to offer your services to a charity - and never forget you can put the phone down if you want to. It's your choice. However, if you hang on and listen, a whole new world full of new friends and new experiences will open up to you. You seem to be a very gentle person, Ripley, so take it one step at a time, and at your own pace. You've been through a traumatic period - no one would deny that - but you can, and you will, come through this. You may be confused about life right now, but you've commited no crime, so why beat yourself up? Life can change if you want it to, so try to gather your inner strength - and keep your head high. And never forget, we may only be friends in cyberland, but we're friends nevertheless, and you can always talk to us. Lots and lots of love to you. x
I never know what to say to people who are feeling this low, apart from, whatever has happened in your life, it can be overcome and you can be happy again. Please do not lose hope or faith. I know you'll probably read that and laugh, but honest, in a few months time when you're in a better place, you'll realise it's true.
It may seem like you have a million things to deal with, your mothers death, your gender issues, depression, but if you try to look at each seperate problem as opposed to a whole massive mountain, you can slowly climb your way though.
You sound really lonely, and I know it's scary, but I KNOW there is a piece inside you, no matter how small, which is a fighter. This will get you through. This little spec of hope will help you get the help you need, be is with a GP appointment, joining a support group, or simply writing how you feel on AB. Every little step is a step in the right direction. You're so brave for posting on here how low you're feeling and you should feel proud of yourself.
What do you like to do? Do you like painting? Poetry? Walking? PLaying a sport? Or is there something you've always wanted to learn? Like a dance? Playing an instument? A new language? I think if you plucked up the courage and joined a group, it would make an incredible difference. Trust me I've done it! It'll make you feel self worth, motivated, have more purpose and best of all you'll meet new people. I know it's scary, but that leap into it, could improve your life tenfold. Take that leap of faith, surely it's better than giving in and ending things? Or even worse, keeping things the way they are? You CAN do it, you CAN turn things around and everyone on here SUPPORTS you and CARES about you. You can change your life, but you're the only one who can do it. We can be here for you, no matter what, but only you can make the decision to DO it.
Massive hugs, really big hugs. You ARE
It may seem like you have a million things to deal with, your mothers death, your gender issues, depression, but if you try to look at each seperate problem as opposed to a whole massive mountain, you can slowly climb your way though.
You sound really lonely, and I know it's scary, but I KNOW there is a piece inside you, no matter how small, which is a fighter. This will get you through. This little spec of hope will help you get the help you need, be is with a GP appointment, joining a support group, or simply writing how you feel on AB. Every little step is a step in the right direction. You're so brave for posting on here how low you're feeling and you should feel proud of yourself.
What do you like to do? Do you like painting? Poetry? Walking? PLaying a sport? Or is there something you've always wanted to learn? Like a dance? Playing an instument? A new language? I think if you plucked up the courage and joined a group, it would make an incredible difference. Trust me I've done it! It'll make you feel self worth, motivated, have more purpose and best of all you'll meet new people. I know it's scary, but that leap into it, could improve your life tenfold. Take that leap of faith, surely it's better than giving in and ending things? Or even worse, keeping things the way they are? You CAN do it, you CAN turn things around and everyone on here SUPPORTS you and CARES about you. You can change your life, but you're the only one who can do it. We can be here for you, no matter what, but only you can make the decision to DO it.
Massive hugs, really big hugs. You ARE
^^^
I'm SO sorry, I wrote your mothers death and I know she hadn't died. I'm truly sorry. I was thinking of my great grandma who had Alzheimers for the 8 years before her death and whilst she was physically alive, she was a shell of herself and died a long time before. It's heartbreaking and she wasn't even my mother, I can't even begin to imagine how you're feeling with your Mam suffering from dementia. I'm so sorry.
I'm SO sorry, I wrote your mothers death and I know she hadn't died. I'm truly sorry. I was thinking of my great grandma who had Alzheimers for the 8 years before her death and whilst she was physically alive, she was a shell of herself and died a long time before. It's heartbreaking and she wasn't even my mother, I can't even begin to imagine how you're feeling with your Mam suffering from dementia. I'm so sorry.
It's 4 in the morning and it's so dark. I feel so incredibly alone and cold. I know you all mean well and I am grateful for your kindness, but I feel like a rabbit in headlights; trapped and unable to move forward. I want my life to change, but I feel so weak and incapable as an individual. I just seem unable to take responsibility for my own life. It's pathetic!
No, it's not pathetic. You're not well, it's as simple as that. Admit that to yourself and you'll see there's no reason to beat yourself up. Please make yourself go out somewhere today - just for a walk at least. If you live in the country, or can walk in a park, then walk there with nature. Breathe the fresh air, look at the sky, and the trees, be aware of everything around you, and try to find a little inner peace. Just take life slowly, one step at a time, try to think positive thoughts - and don't expect too much of yourself too soon. Muster all the inner strength and determination you can and try to see today as the beginning of the road to recovery. x
Good morning Ripley :-) I hope you are feeling well today- or at least a bit better than yesterday.
I have been meaning to ask if you have any interests or hobbies that you could pursue in a group setting? Or do you fancy doing an evening class at your local college? How about doing a computer course of some sort...great way of meeting people and as an added bonus you are learning at the same time..........its something to think about anyway. Take care.xxx
I have been meaning to ask if you have any interests or hobbies that you could pursue in a group setting? Or do you fancy doing an evening class at your local college? How about doing a computer course of some sort...great way of meeting people and as an added bonus you are learning at the same time..........its something to think about anyway. Take care.xxx
Depression can do that to you Ripley, it's debilitating and that's the bit you're going through now. To actually get yourself motivated to do anything is like wading through treacle in pure wool but you do have to try.
Like Naomi says, is there any nice place to walk around you? Even if it's just to the shops to get milk? You need to get some of those endorphines out. It's not a cure or an immediate pick up but it will do you some good.
Come on... upsies!
Like Naomi says, is there any nice place to walk around you? Even if it's just to the shops to get milk? You need to get some of those endorphines out. It's not a cure or an immediate pick up but it will do you some good.
Come on... upsies!
Afternoon Ripley,
You are NOT weak, incapable or pathetic. You are a human being who is going through a very tough time and TRUST me, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Have you tried talking to your brother and letting him know how you feel? Does he know you have these horrible thoughts going through your mind? Maybe if you told him how low you're feeling and that you need help it may prompt him to into action.
Come on girl, we want to know what your hobbies are and stuff you like doing. When I'm feeling down (which is quite often) I force myself out of bed/settee and do things round the house or go for a walk.
Are you eating well? When I'm down I completely lose my apetite. I have been known to not eat for 2 to 3 days and this has made me feel worse. You need to make sure you are eating well to boost your well being. Bananas are very good and contain Vitamin B and potassium. These are feel good nutrients.
Come on - speak to us! xxx
You are NOT weak, incapable or pathetic. You are a human being who is going through a very tough time and TRUST me, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Have you tried talking to your brother and letting him know how you feel? Does he know you have these horrible thoughts going through your mind? Maybe if you told him how low you're feeling and that you need help it may prompt him to into action.
Come on girl, we want to know what your hobbies are and stuff you like doing. When I'm feeling down (which is quite often) I force myself out of bed/settee and do things round the house or go for a walk.
Are you eating well? When I'm down I completely lose my apetite. I have been known to not eat for 2 to 3 days and this has made me feel worse. You need to make sure you are eating well to boost your well being. Bananas are very good and contain Vitamin B and potassium. These are feel good nutrients.
Come on - speak to us! xxx
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