overweight husband

[wheaten]

Hi,
my husband is 6 foot and weighs 16st 7lbs, this gives him a BMI of 31.3 which comes in as obese. He looks very pregnant and is 'thick' everywhere else. He is a policeman but is mainly office based. He can't exercise as much as he used to as he's had a knee op 2 years ago and is now waiting for an ankle/foot op so that doesn't help. He bought a cross-trainer which makes a nice clothes rack! I do try to make him eat less and healthier but he says i'm too thin (5' 7'' & 11 st) and tries to feed me up.
How can I make him see sense and lose weight?
thanks, Wheaten.

[missvodka]

buy a wii with wii fit i have one apart from the excercise you get its great fun

[Count-A-Strong]

You have highlighted the bigest problem i.e. he doesn't want to. Have you thought about cycling. Me and Mrs Strong try to go out once a week at least for a quick blast.

[wheaten]

Thank you, we both have mountain bikes but it 'jiggles' him! I would like some road bikes. Wii Fit sounds good as he enjoys the Wii Sports so i'll treat him to one and I'll use it too!!
Wheaten

[woofgang]

sorry but I hate that "see sense and lose weight" attitude. he is a grown up person and its his choice.

[cazzz1975]

he sounds alright to me, and I agree with woofgang.

[ummmm]

Sounds alright to me as well.

[snags]

''How can I make him see sense''

Until he's unhappy enough with how he looks/feels to do something about it, or his health starts to suffer (in a way that is meaningful to him) no one can 'make' him see sense.

[cazzz1975]

so while he is waiting for a knee and ankle foot op, you want him to know that he needs to lose weight.

Im sure that will make him feel great and supported..

[wheaten]

It's the weight issue that has caused his joint problems. He can't exercise so he eats so he puts more weight on so he'll get more problems. When he's dead before he retires you can all come to his funeral-maybe someone would like to drive the JCB.
I am only telling him for his own good and he agrees but as he works shifts he gets bored and eats. I can't and don't control what and when he eats, he has to realise for himself.
Wheaten

[4getmenot]

spot on 'he has to realise for himself'

[boxtops]

I'm 5'7" and if I were 11st again I would be thrilled to bits.... Bread and potatoes and chocolate are my downfall. You could point out to him the risk of diabetes and heart disease in the overweight. I bet he won't see himself as at risk until he gets a medical scare (and I'm not wishing that on him). Walking is great exercise, if only I would practice what I preach.

[wheaten]

Hi Boxtops,
In an earlier answer to a post I said I had weighed 18st (I love bread, potatoes and choc too!) and husband ribbed me about it so i lost it by myself (and Paul McKennas 'i can make you thin'). The doc has called him chubby and says he needs to get his cholesteral and blood pressure down by Sept. Fat chance! He thinks he can lose it overnight. We have 2 dogs which he walks but I can see he even struggles walking through the house. When he has had the op he need 4 months off work, on crutches, so he'll carry on eating. At least he'll be housebound and can't nip to the shops so I'LL be doing the shopping. Salad anyone?
Wheaten

[boxtops]

Sorry wheaten, didn't see your earlier post - well done indeed, I do admire you for losing all that weight. I think you have the solution - don't buy crisps and biscuits, but first he has to be fit enough for the op, is that a problem in itself?

[wheaten]

Hi again, Boxtops,
Many thanks. The consultant says it's okay but as we haven't been given a date yet it's all a bit up in the air. His work doesn't help, as I said he is a policeman but at a military base so the equipment he has to wear (even in the office) weighs at least 2st so that doesn't help his joints either. It's just a vicious triangle! (as a friend says).
Wheaten

[LoftyLottie]

My husband had a massive heart attack. He wasn't fat but was overweight at nearly 16st at 6'. One year on, he is slim and very active and his eating habits have changed for the better (and so have mine). It was a huge wake up call. I didn't nag him about his weight but I did drop hints about his life style. The heart attack could have been avoided. He is, however, a very lucky man to still be around

I agree that you shouldn't nag him, but a little push in the right direction won't hurt. He doesn't have to go on a diet, just eat the right things. We certainly don't go without treats.

[LoftyLottie]

Wheaten, the Paul McKenna advice worked for me. It's just common sense really. Well done with your weight loss.

[Prudentia]

my long time partner was a sleek 5' 7, and 10 stone 4 and died of a heart attack, she was apparently fully fit until till the day she died, may god bless her prescious soul. Prudentia xxx

[LoftyLottie]

It happens Prudentia. But many heart attacks can be avoided. I am sorry for your loss. I was lucky. x

[karenmac60]

Tell him you don't find him attractive and withhold sex. He'll soon decide he prefers sex with his wife to crisps and biscuits :)