Husband Won't Eat

[chrissa1]

Yep it's me again. My OH will not eat in hospital, he has pulled the tube they put up his nose into his stomach last night and I'm at my wit's end with the stubborn *&^%.

Will he die? What can they do if he continues to refuse nutrition?

[anneasquith]

chrissa, from my own experience a nasal feeding tube, feels awful;

[welshlibranr]

probably not chrissa, it is very common, the tubes are very irritating, and the natural reaction is to get rid of this irritation!...............probably the case with your OH...........

[chrissa1]

Ok, I might be able to persuade him now that a small amount of food is the nicer and better option. Thanks.

[bednobs]

hi Chrissa, i'm sure you don't need me to tell you that yuour husband is a very poorly man. From what you say on here i think you need to prepare yourself for the fact that at the very least this is going to be a very long haul and and the worst, there is a possibility he may not come home. obviously your husbands care team will know a kot more, and they wont mind answering questions like this. Saty strong x

[rowanwitch]

Sounds like a combination of hepatic encephalopathy and possibly the effect of high urea from the kidney component ... unfortunately they can't 'section someone' as it is not a mental health issue. Have they talked about any active treartments or are they just treating the pneumonia? only with what sounds like the end stages of cirrhosis the choices are quite limited.... feeding is the norm if it can be managed in the hope the patient is srtrong enough to recover but unfortunately this group of patients are really difficult as they don't have the ability to understand what they are doing or the implications.Also sedation is extremely risky as the drugs normally used can make the confusion worse as the liver cant metabolise the drugs properly It must be really horrible for you...but please don't see him being stubborn or difficult he isn't able to make rational decisions or understand very much right now if I am right....

[chrissa1]

Thank you rowanwitch. Just got back from the hospital and he has had the nasal tube put back in and seemed to understand that although it is not very pleasant, it is going to make him feel better. This is the first time he has seemed to acquiese to the things they are doing for him. Fingers crossed.

[Mamyalynne]

Oh Chrissa let us hope so, thinking of you what difficult times .

[anneasquith]

good news chrissa, keep us posted. be well.

[~Wingnut~]

Hi chrissa, so sorry to hear what you and your family are going through.
Completely different situation but my husband has been ill all his life with kidney problems and has had 2 transplants. A couple of years ago he was going through a 'poorly patch' which just seemed to affect his mental state. He point blank refused to take his tablets, pushed a doctor and walked out of the hospital 11pm at night. He was picked up by the police about 14miles from the hospital heading home. Totally out of character for him and when we managed to persuade him to go back to the hospital they didn't care about his mental state and told us if he refuses his tablets and treatment then we want the bed for someone else. It was a horrific time as he wouldn't listen to me (I pleaded, got angry, used the kids as a guilt trip, everything!) nothing worked. Thankfully the transplant co-ordinator knew how to speak to him and was a God send to us, she coaxed him round, got him to take his tablets and eventually he returned to his old self. I was relieved but I admit I was upset that he wouldn't do it for me and the girls and it took someone else to get him to, but his mental state just wasn't right. Even typing about this brings tears to my eyes remembering it.

Your husband being as ill as he has been could account for how he is being although from what you have said it seems there is more to it. I hope me telling you what happened to us helps you and if there is someone who has the compassion but not the closeness of the family could talk to him it may help a lot.

Thoughts are with you and the family chrissa, it's such a tough time to be going through for all of you xx

[chrissa1]

Thank you SO much wingnut for sharing that with me and yes it Has helped. You just feel so helpless don't you. I'm going in to see him this afternoon and hopefully will see an improvement now he is getting nourishment.
You're right though. He is an intelligent man and it just didn't make sense to me why he was doing this despite the pleadings and the threats of no more visits until he "pulled himself together"
Thank you again.

[~Wingnut~]

Glad I could be of some comfort for you chrissa, it was a very tough time and when I look back on it it's hard to believe it even happened.
I hope he was in better spirits when you went to visit him this afternoon :o)
xx

[chrissa1]

My husband passed away peacefully in his sleep last night.

[daffy654]

That is very sad news Chrissa, my thoughts are with you and your family.x

[bednobs]

so sorry chrissa xx

[Jemisa]

Its probably not food he's objecting to chris its that damn tube which is understandable, yes they'll put him on fluids until things start improveing. - They won't let him die chris, they're there to help him.

jem

[wolf63]

chrissa

My thoughts are with you - I am so sorry about your loss.

Susan

[bednobs]

jem - have you read the post??

[Jemisa]

Oh Dear chris why didn't I read your post earlier?

I'm sorry to hear your sad news you must feel very distressed.
I'm sure you have some lovely memories of your times together, dwell on those chris they will lift your spirits.

condolances from Jem/

[marval]

I am very sorry to hear your sad news, please find comfort in the thought that he is at peace now.

[Mamyalynne]

Chrissa my heart goes out to you, there are no words that can touch your pain just now. Please know that there are always people here who understand and will talk and listen.