Handling a friend with Psycological problems.

[Englishbird]

Iv'e just read Andy's Q below about personality disorders and am worried that my friend is showing signs of this.  She has suffered from low self esteem and depression as long as i've known her (about 10 years) and is currently going through an 'episode', being very violent and seemingly totally unable to control herself. (she is not normally like this) she also seems to have an alcohol dependancy, and when drinking the behaviour is much worse.

If she does have a personality disorder (rather than an alcohol problem or depression) is it really not treatable?

We don't really know what to do for the best at the moment, we're trying to keep her out of trouble, although there is the thought that maybe we need to let her get into trouble so that she gets the help she needs.  Is it really best to step back and watch your friend get arrested 'for her own good'??

[butter1]

Ive known my friend for most of my life and she suffers from depression, drinking, lying etc.  There comes a time when you have to let them learn for themselves.  A good friend can only help so much, but they must want to help themselves also and face up to their problems.  Its difficult to understand someone who has depression if you haven't suffered from it yourself.  I haven't - and I try to help my friend as much as I can... but its hard.  Your friend must seek help for her problems... but she must want to at the same time.  Just be there for you friend whenever you can.. You can't watch her 24/7 - good luck.

[Englishbird]

thank you - i have got personal experience of depression, and when she's been going through the depression i guess i feel i can help - but this behaviour is something else, I'm no wimp, but it's actually quite frightening.

[butter1]

you probably can help more than other friends could as you have suffered from depression yourself - can you try to get her to go to her GP so he can refer her to someone?  You've probably already tried this, but something must be done if your worried that she will get herself in some sort of trouble.  I wish you all the best, keep us informed with the progress.

[mesmerize_99]

Why not re-arrange her activities. Sometimes people get trapped in the same routine and it can cause these signs. Drinking is one of them, she might not have an alcohol dependency but can't avoid it. Sit down and plan a week doing different things.
Like getting a video, swimming one night, dance class, cinema or bowling, or even all of them. A weekend trip to a local museam might be cheap and fun. I would suggest you both stay off booze and get early nights. See how this works out and then go to the doctor if problems persist. Basically avoid loud nights out and aim for calm fun.

all the best.