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SGKelloe32 | 13:47 Thu 24th Mar 2005 | Body & Soul
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I split from my partner in November and since then I have had a date nearly every week. Now im starting to feel a bit strange as no matter who the person is that I go out with, I go straight off them! Its driving me insane! Even a lad I had liked for 7 years asked me out, he is everything I could ask for, but after one date, I don’t like him anymore and he said I made him feel used! What is wrong with me?? Im not looking for a relationship at this very moment in time but I would love to see someone again after a first date! Is this normal after a split??
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Hi SGKelloe32, not seen you on here for a while! Well it could possibly be that you are subconciously afraid of getting too close to the guys you date as you have been let down in the past?? Just a suggestion, or maybe it really is because you find you don't like the guys any more than just friends once you have had chance to be alone with them? There are loads of things it could be but I wouldn't worry about it, it wasn't that long ago since your split, so you're probably still adjusting to a new way of life. I'm sure one day you will find someone who you realise is the man for you!x

I don't think you've given yourself enough time to grieve your last relationship.  Which could be why no man is fulfilling your needs now.  Try and spend the next 3 or 4 weeks without going on any dates. Just Chill and enjoy the benefits of being on your own for a little bit (trust me, there are some :o)

 

You will find someone you really like again and who really likes you, don't be so hard on yourself.

I suggest you get a book called "The Cosmopolitan guide to Single and Loving it".  Read it and do the exercises. You will feel a lot more positive as you realise (a) you aren't the first to go through this (b) you're completely normal and (c) you will get over it.

A friend bought this for me as a present when I split up with my ex of 13 years. I hated her at first for thinking I needed a book to get over a relationship, but it was the best thing any of my friends did for me at that time!

You are obviously just not ready for a relationship right now. Give yourself time to get over the last one. Then when someone comes along who you really like, you will be glad and grateful to go out with them!
Too much of a good thing makes jack a dull boy. Or Mary a dull girl, in your case. I'm assuming your getting your men from the same place. Why not aim for someone who hangs out on a different scene. Like a library or at a salsa class, etc.

I have a friend (male) in the same situation. He thinks he's repeating himself and is sick of telling them about his job and family. Ha Ha. I'm sure you can imagine it. If you like I'l pass your details on and you can both go to a library together. :-)

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