re we second best

[murraymints]

I an sick and tired of considering the needs and more often wants of the first wife...it extends to kids and i am feelimg like an unpaid home help that has to deal with all the issues of kids etc whilst being ignored and not considered when it comes to tickets for school etc...when I am the one that has promoted honework etc...she is thick as two short planks....

[mrs_overall]

Learn to say no

[boxtops]

What were the arrangements for your continuing to look after the kids' needs, when you split?

[sara3]

why don't you contact the school and be asked to be registered for contact purposes. my kids' school will send stuff to me and to my ex.

[Barmaid]

Murraymints, you have my sympathy. My OH has the mad ex from hell. I could write a book about her crap. She is thick too.

[murraymints]

no... i am the other woman... the wicked step mum..

[joeluke]

Mrs O has said it all in just 4 words

[joeluke]

Murraymints.....I assumed you were the ex husband until you posted that!

[mrs_overall]

Sorry, I thought you were a bloke talking about your first wife.
You are going to have to sit down with your OH and explain how you feel.

[murraymints]

my point is ..that although all these years i have cared..holidayed..put up with adolesence when their mother cant..helped with homework because she is thick etc,. when it comes to anything importamt ..my thoughts/wants dont count

[boxtops]

So did I - sorry, murraymints :-(

[Barmaid]

I'm in the same position Murray. Used as a carer, bank, taxi service, cook, cleaner, laundry, homework assistant and in return? Wall to wall crap, unreasonable demands and applications to court at the drop of a hat!!

[bednobs]

is the dad involved in their lives? If so, can't really see what you are complaining about - are you saying you will help with homework and childcare as long as you get something back?

[murraymints]

don't know whether to be upset that you lot...by now...don't know that i am female !!!!! even given my infatuation with Sqad...he isn't gay is he ...lol

[murraymints]

bedknobs..the dad is the real problem he takes advantage....lets me do all and does not stand by me or stick up for me when it comes to it

[mrs_overall]

Lol
My excuse is that I haven't got my specs on

[Quassia]

It's hard isn't it ... to be the 'silent' help & not have that appreciated in any way. Have you tried ... ooh! I'd love to go along to that also!

[bednobs]

gotcha!

[murraymints]

hard done by step mums unite !!! or untie ??? letss alll go out and get drunkk

[rowanwitch]

Back to Mrs O's answer then. Be busy sometimes..but insulting the ex won't help... if the kids came on here and saw it they'd probably be really upset... Try to rise above it...help when you can but unfortunately when you take on a man with kids always expect to come second/third if you are really unlucky

[murraymints]

i have NEVER insulted first wife and even gave money out for mothers day /birthday etc for mum....reminded abiut cards ats .. I HAVE been exemploray I deserve a medal but it is still little things like tonight I cant go to a prize giving,,,last one 6th year as head boy when i have been to EVERY PARENTS NIGHT AND PRIZE GIVING SINCE HE WAS 5 YEARS OD