How can she be a lesbian?

[dollypins]

My friends mother has just come out as gay. I can't understand how you can suddenly decide you are gay. She's been married to her husband for 16 years. My friend is really upset and hopes that her mum is just having a midlife crisis.

Either it's a phase she's going through or she's always been gay? What do you think? What advise can I give my friend?

[Slapshot]

Additionally, people change all the time and while it may not be pleasant at the moment this woman is being true to herself. Support your friend as best you can but there's probably not much chance of changing things

[sara3]

and.. how old is your friend?

[dollypins]

well you know how a lot of lesbians dress. They wear timberland boots and checked shirts, baggy jeans with chains hanging down and caps. Oh and my friend thought lesbians didn't wear bras cause they normally wear vests. That's probably just our stereotype of a lesbian. My friend's mum couldn't be more opposite to that. Sorry if this offended anyone.

My friend will accept it eventually I'm sure but the whole family was so shocked. She is worried about her dad too and the poor bugger is wondering what he's done wrong. He's been signed off work for a month and can't stop crying. Shes more worried about him at the moment.

[dollypins]

friend is 18

[mickrog]

or maybe a fishing rod on the roof rack....a pipe on the bedside table

[boxtops]

You are right, dolly - that's a very out of date stereotype! Many of the lesbians I know are very glamorous ladies.

I bet the dad does feel very sad and confused. Counselling might help him. It's nothing he's done.

[joggerjayne]

Note to self: take Timberland boots and Jack Wills checky shirt to charity shop.

[sara3]

so is the husband of 16 years not your friend's father?

[daffy654]

PMSL @ that description of what lesbians look like. My mum has never worn jeans or checked shirts and she would rather never leave the house than put a pair of Timberland boots on.... btw I have some Timberlands and i'm not gay.

My mum has been 'out' since the early 70s. It was no big deal even back then.

[woofgang]

lol jayne, what will you wear on your glam nights out now????

[daffy654]

I have some CAT boots that are very similar to Timberlands, I also have some H&M checked blouses and I'm not gay.

[dollypins]

sara3, my friend is 18 but her mum and dad had been married for 16 years

[dollypins]

he is her real father yeah.

[boxtops]

It's not unusual for lesbians to give birth, perhaps your friend's mum felt she had to get married to conform with parental expectations, once your friend was born.

She's still her mum, nothing's changed. It's the dad I feel sorry for, he must be desperately confused about the whole situation - as well as rejected.

[sunny-dave]

errr - I have timbies & checkies - and I like girls ....

[woofgang]

omg......dave......you are finally out of the closet!

[boxtops]

watch it, dave...:-)