Self Harming

[Baby_Sham]

Really didn't want to post this, but here goes...

I've started self harming, and can't stop :-/

I don't even know what my question is, just that I need some help.

Life has been a bit difficult the past year or so, but I thought things were ok.
It's only been the past week that I've started doing it, and I don't even know why. I only know it makes me feel good, almost like a 'release'.
I'm a happy person, I've started to deal with life's difficulties, but I've found this new 'thing' and I'm a little bit addicted to the way it wakes me feel.

I'm having to wear long sleeved tops because I've wonderfully fluffed up my arms, and my whole chest and stomach are cut to pieces. Why? I don't even know.

I need some help, but don't know where to turn?

Really embarrassed by this thread, so please don't start preaching to me. I know it's wrong, but I don't even know why I'm doing it :-(

[Baby_Sham]

It's not painful at all, just a bit sore.
I am afraid of speaking to my GP about it, because of my kids. I don't want them to think I'm an unfit mother, which I'm not.

[pixie373]

They won't think that. You're going because you're a responsible mother and you're looking for help. Let them, they have the experience you need.

[Baby_Sham]

Thanks :-) Everything has stopped bleeding now, so doesn't look so bad.
Thank you for your support, all of you. xx

[pixie373]

Good luck. Let us know how you get on x

[mazie]

Whenever I feel like doing something stupid, I always stop and ask myself "What would my kids think" That usually stops me. You should try and speak to someone

[tonyav]

Baby_Sham, please talk to your GP about this, don't worry I'm sure your GP won't see you as an unfit mother.

[Mamyalynne]

Baby_Sham as others have said - no one will lock you up or take away the children, trust me. Self harming is incredibly common and there iss lots more awareness and help out there these days.

Get in touch with your GP as soon as you can and keep the channels open here too.

M♥

[Fusion5]

Where is your husband, did he not realise what you are doing ?

[Baby_Sham]

Thankyou to the further answers, especially mamyalynnes.

My husband has just found out tonight. It's caused a huge row.
To cut a long story short, he caught me, and went mental. He demanded to see my arms, so I had to show him. He then waled away and said he couldn't believe what I'd been doing.

I feel like such an awful person, I just can't can't help it.

[ck1]

Make sure you keep the cuts clean too, savlon or germolene will take the edge off the pain and stop them getting infected. Your GP wont even ask about your children so don't worry about that, you'll probably get referred to the local IAPT service and / or prescribed some antidepressants (citalopram . fluoxetine for example), nothing will happen quickly so don't panic!!

[dizmouk2009]

I'm going to make this short so it is easier to take in.

I have been and am still at a state where I could still be where you are right now.

I know you don't know me but I am here for you to talk to. My email address is [email protected]

Please feel that you are able to talk to me because I will spend all night and day trying to help you.

Dizmo.

[Baby_Sham]

I'm just so scared. I worry so much as it, I worry so much about my kids. I love them so much, and I'm absolutely fine with them, I just worry a professional wouldn't see it like that :-(

[Mamyalynne]

Don't be too disappointed in your husband's initial reaction - it is an alien concept to many and he will have felt both fearful and helpless.

[Fusion5]

Perhaps aswell you could contact your therapist. I know when I was having therapy, she was always at the end of the phone.

[Baby_Sham]

Yes, you are probably right.
He went crazy, and shouted at me. We had a massive argument, but I suppose I understand where he's coming from.
I will go see my GP tomorrow.

Really sorry to have troubled you all. x

[dizmouk2009]

Email me and express how you feel. You'd be surprised how talking to a complete stranger can help. I'm sure the rest of the gang on this thread will also say that talking to me could help.

[Mamyalynne]

Talking is incredibly important and I am sure once your hubby knows you are seeking help, he will be more supportive.

[Baby_Sham]

Thankyou all :-)
Answerbank was my first port of call. You are all really great and a real sense of support.

Thanks :-)

Dizmouk, not sure how I could email you?

[tonyav]

Yes Baby_Sham, has Mamya says it would be a complete shock for him ( hubby ) thats why he went ballistic, but I'm sure he'll show you some support once he knows your getting some help for it.

[dizmouk2009]

Do you not have an email address?

You could make a hotmail account if you don't have an email address.

https://signup.live.com/signup.aspx?wa=wsignin1.0&rpsnv=11&ct=1379888741&;rver=6.1.6206.0&wp=MBI&wreply=http%3a%2f%2fmail.live.com%2fdefault.aspx&;id=64855&cbcxt=mai&snsc=1&bk=1379888742&;uiflavor=web&mkt=EN-GB&lc=2057&lic=1