What Would You Do In This Position ???????????

[beezaneez]

my wife is thai, i am british. all the time her friends call to house, some just come to the front living room window and knock it, some ring front door bell and wait, but this one particular woman just knocks slightly once on door, opens herself and invites herself into my house, this woman this morning rang doorbell once and walked straight into my house, i have not been brought up this way, i dont like it one bit !! i understand thai culture , they are different, this morning i told this woman in no uncertain terms to ever ever do this again, i had warned her once allready a few months ago. now it has caused friction between me and my wife.

am i wrong ?

[sandyRoe]

Close and lock the door. Then nobody could just walk into your home.

[Eve]

Can you not make sure that the door is locked so that she (or anyone else) cannot just let themselves in?

It is rude to just let yourself in though if you wife doesn't have an issue with it then she may not realise it's such a problem for you.

Does your wife understand your issue with it?

[ummmm]

No one knocks on our door (friends, family) they just open the door and shout hello and walk in.

[Baldric]

If you don't like it lock the door!

[ummmm]

^^That's the answer.

[coccinelle]

She does it to save you getting up from whatever you are doing to answer the door. She knows that when you (or your wife) opens the door she'll be invited in so she's just saving you the trouble. She does ring the doorbell and she probably calls out when she's through the door so you know who it is.

[jaydj]

Next time just walk around your home naked and after the shock just say "oh i am sorry, didnt hear the door bell" :)

[woofgang]

How long have you been married? Did this difference not arise while you were courting? If you aren't happy, you need to address it (gently) with your wife and LOCK THE DOOR! personally i cannot believe that anyone would have a front door that allows anyone to just walk in. mine locks automatically when you close it and my friends who have doors that don't do this keep a key on the inside and keep it turned.

[beezaneez]

i would never ever walk into anyones house, ever !!! even life long friends houses unless i thought they were sick/in trouble etc. what kind of people are you who let people walk into your houses, i have not led a sheltered life and i live in belfast so that is the very reason we do not leave our doors open. i think it is downright ignorant to just walk into anyones house. i asked her " is it ok for me to walk on into your house ? " she had no reply to that question.

[ummmm]

All depends what sort of person you are. Obviously if we minded our friends wouldn't do it.

My door is open all day unless I'm in the bath/shower or not suitably dressed.

[hc4361]

beezaneez, your tone is very rude - 'what kind of people are you....'

When I was growing up it was usual for friends and neighbours to walk in after a tap at the front or back door and a call of 'coooeeee, it's only me'.

[sandyRoe]

There aren't many areas of Belfast where you could leave the front door open without leaving yourself open as well to a visit from Burglar Bill.

[ummmm]

Even if you are in?

[sandyRoe]

Even worse then. You might be beaten up for the PIN number of your credit cards.

[mccfluff]

i don;t see anything wrong with letting yourself into a friends/relatives house or vice versa if you are happy with that, if you're not then lock the door its that simple.

I have a couple of mates whose house's, when i visit i knock, open the door, shout hello and go in, fatty does the same when he comes to mine, minus the knock or the shout hello. but then i also have mates for whom i would wait until they opened the door.

i don;t see it as an problem

[boxtops]

It very much depends on the individual, beez. Our front door is always locked but the back door is open, and our best friend and I just walk in and out of each other's houses - but it's not normal for me, I don't expect anyone to just drop round, ever - I expect them to let me know when they are coming (I might be out, or just not want visitors). It may be that this is normal culture in Thai families.

[ummmm]

Then maybe beezaneez should keep his door locked.

[Mamyalynne]

In your position, I would put the catch on the door - the next time she visits, see if she comments on it and politely work from there.

Things like this are always better handled lightly and with a bit of humour if possible.

[Baldric]

//i live in belfast so that is the very reason we do not leave our doors open//

You must leave your door open, otherwise she could not walk in!

[McMouse]

My father was born at home in HW London and the outside doors were never locked, day or night. If you visited the same area now most house would have steel security bars across downstairs doors and windows. Not sure this would keep a determined Thai out though.