I'm sorry I haven't read the whole thread, so I apologise for any repetitions.
There is a Viagra-type thing for women, but you have to take it continuously for weeks and hope for something to happen.
Other people have recommended to me to just do it, even if you don't want to. The more you do it the more you want to do it, but I know how difficult that is when you really don't want to.
Read a book to get you into the mood. If 50 shades isn't your thing, try Maestra by LS Hilton.