Visiting Hospital

[jennyjoan]

My friend is still in hospital and is not very well and according to her sista and her - she doesn't want visitors - which I understand.

However another friend who had cause to go to the cancer unit yesterday called with her at random and sick friend was glad to see her.

I am in a bit of a dilemma - last time I visited her - she was apathetic at the beginning of our visit but on leaving perked up no end.

I do feel awful NOT going but am abiding by her wishes. Would you do so too.

[albaqwerty]

pop in to see her and say you were visiting someone else and thought you'd look in her

[Khandro]

Does anybody remember letters? Seriously, I'm sure she would be delighted to receive a nice long letter telling her about what you feel and what you have been doing, bits of gossip etc. you could even enclose photos or cuttings that might interest her.

[Hopkirk]

I love getting letters!

(or I used to - no one writes any more)

[jennyjoan]

would feel funny writing letters of say

happiness
sunshine
dog walking
going out for lunch
visiting other friends

would think sick friend would love to be a part of it and so no, I couldn't hurt her anymore.

[jennyjoan]

An update - sick friend has got sicker - her sister rang me today and told me her hair was taken off last Wed and the reaction to the antibiotics can't be alleviated.

Is in a very bad way and consultants don't what know what is causing the massive reaction. Is going to be transferred Dermotology tomorrow and very much doesn't want visitors. Really glad her sister rung me and let me know the situation.

[Mamyalynne]

Poor lady, I shall think of her and hope for improvement.x

[Buenchico]

I always go for the direct approach ('cos I don't do subtlety!).

I'd simply walk in and say "Right, I'm here because I really want to see you. However, if you'd like me to go away, just say and I'll disappear straight away".

[bunkmoreland]

What an awful time for your friend. Whenever my father and auntie were in hospital,my mother used to make a note of every person who asked after them,or who phoned to do the same. It meant a lot to them in hospital to hear actual names of people who cared, but,they didn't have to "be up" to a hospital visit. Maybe you could let your friend's sister know of anyone,including yourself,who is asking about her? All good thoughts for your friend x

[Cloverjo]

Wouldn't it be great if everyone was as up front as Buenchico? :)) We must all have had times when we wanted to know people cared, but we didn't necessarily want them right there with us for hours.
I never know what to do, so hover like a fool, being no use at all.

[jennyjoan]

Buenchico - the sister really made it very clear - no visitors - so definitely won't be going.

She is in a vulnerable state right now and doesn't want anybody visiting her except her sister.

I have to take account also that even in her home she sorta doesn't welcome visitors either.

Thanks all for your interest.