Not Sure What To Do Help Please

[fruitsalad]

My 5 year old grandaughter has been staying with me for a couple of weeks, her Mother has a new boyfriend, and in the last couple of days my grandaughter has been saying how her mother has been sexting as she calls it, and doing the actions as she telling me, now I know my grandaughter still sleeps with her mother, (I dont agree with it, but not my business) now if shes in the bed while her mother and new boyfriend are having sex its very worrying, I dont get on with my grandaughters mother and have had many an arguments with her in the past she doesn't take much notice of me, I just dont know what to do for the best.

[ummmm]

Sexting is talking dirty through text messages and pictures.

Although why a 5 year old knows that is beyond me.

[hc4361]

And video chat such as Skype

[murraymints]

best say nowt..you could be getting the wrong end of the stick..5 year olds can have pretty vivid imaginations..and as you say..not really your business..you could end up not seeing the child at all..if she seems happy well fed and cared for you have no real basis for saying or doing anything..

[Smowball]

Was just going to say the same as ummm

[bookbinder]

You have said 'not my business', and 'she doesn't take much notice of me'. That should tell you to stand back and let granddaughter's mother get on with whatever she's doing.

[fruitsalad]

Yes ummmm I know that, but shes calling sex sexing, doing the actions and saying they are doing things in the bed

[Prudie]

I'm also stunned a 5 year old would know 'sexting' although what you describe sounds more like 'phone sex'. Surely her mother wouldn't do that?

[ummmm]

So they are doing stuff in the same bed as your granddaughter? Or is it possible that your granddaughter is just over hearing them?

[Old_Geezer]

You could ask if she sleeps with her mother still and whether her boyfriend sleeps with them at the same time. But from what you have written I see no indication that, that is the case.

I'm unsure what these actions are.

Adults seem to let children get information on all sorts of things these days, always some excuse. It's possible the 5 year old is aware of sexting and the mother is being indiscreet. I'm unsure what you can do about it as folk are allowed to bring up their own kids as they see fit. Well within reason.

[fruitsalad]

I'm not sure its a good thing for a 5 year old to see, no she wont stop me seeing her, Im the only babysitter shes got who she can rely on, and she does like her nights out.

[ummmm]

OG - If your children have older siblings/cousins they learn a lot from a young age.

[ummmm]

Fruitsalad - is she actually seeing it?

[fruitsalad]

Yes she still sleep with her mother, and the way my grandaughter explained it yes she was in the bed, said "they wake me up"

[fruitsalad]

Might be a bit dramatic, but I seem to remember reading Mary Bell, saw her Mother having sex on a regular basis, and look what she turned out to be, must do some sort of harm to a childs mind surely?

[jennyjoan]

Fruitsalad - don't be sure - you being the only baby-sitter - forget that one.

My friend a wonderful grandmother I mean wonderful - practically reared her 3 grandchildren. Whoops a row happened between her and daughter-in-law - and dil has not allowed her to see the children nigh on 9 years. Friend is broken-hearted. They were age 6 (twins) and 9 at the time. She still hopes and hopes they will come back to her but too much water under the bridge.

Yes they do stop the grandchildren from coming. Beware of that.

[naomi24]

I would definitely say something to the mother - and I would offer to take care of the little girl more often. Permanently if necessary.

[ummmm]

I think liking it to Mary Bell is a bit OTT.

I would say something though.

[fruitsalad]

Jennyjoan, shes threatened it loads of times, called her bluff many a time as well, and said do what you got to do do, but as soon as she wants a holiday or a night out, comes running back to me.

[Olivio]

That's disgusting fruit salad and my heart goes out to you ((HUGS))
jennyjoan are you saying that she should turn a blind eye in whatever happens around her grand daughter from fear?

I agree with Naomi, contact social services and get sole custody of your grandchild before she is mentally scarred which may lead her to have un unnatural behaviours herself.

Seeing a strange man having sex with her mum cannot be good for her mental state and what kind of man would happily have sex next to a child? Sounds like a weirdo, one that your granddaughter should be well away from if you know what I mean.

Good luck and god bless.x

[fruitsalad]

I did say it was a bit dramtic comparing to Mary Bell, but what do we know what happens to a childs innocent mind, I will worrybmore when she refuses to go home, which she has a couple of times, so I've kept her at mine a few days longer.