Not Sure What To Do Help Please

[fruitsalad]

My 5 year old grandaughter has been staying with me for a couple of weeks, her Mother has a new boyfriend, and in the last couple of days my grandaughter has been saying how her mother has been sexting as she calls it, and doing the actions as she telling me, now I know my grandaughter still sleeps with her mother, (I dont agree with it, but not my business) now if shes in the bed while her mother and new boyfriend are having sex its very worrying, I dont get on with my grandaughters mother and have had many an arguments with her in the past she doesn't take much notice of me, I just dont know what to do for the best.

[mallyh]

is your son not involved with bringing her up ?

[jennyjoan]

ok Fruitsalad but the child is only 5 - give her a cuppla years and by the sound of the mother - she will leave her alone maybe 9-10 years old and if you live a distance away - you'll never know about it.

[jennyjoan]

Jennyjoan are you saying that she should turn a blind eye in whatever happens around her grand daughter from fear?

No I am not saying any of the above nor suggesting a blind eye but do know what the end result is. Have seen it so many times. Pity about the little girl.

[fruitsalad]

Thanks Olivio, beginning to think I was in the wrong here for even thinking it doesn't seem right, but I dont think I would get automatic rights to her if I went to Social Services, but if I have to I will.

[ummmm]

Social services would more likely educate the mother.

[jennyjoan]

Fruit - is your son not about

[Smowball]

Ok let's be logical here. Five isn't that young so you need to try and find out exactly what she is seeing and hearing. Trouble is that if you then speak to the mother what is she going to do- she won't be happy

[mallyh]

jennyjoan I asked that but it was overlooked x

[Olivio]

It's a scratcher of a noodle of a situation. Maybe take the mother aside and tell her that the little girl has been saying these things and could she please have sex when the little girl is not in the same room as them.

[Old_Geezer]

Parenting may not be instinctive to everyone but i think anyone who thinks that having sex in front of their 5 year old kid is ok, is well beyond being able to be educated.

[naomi24]

I wouldn't involve Social Services unless absolutely necessary. I would ask the mother if the child can stay with you on a casual basis.

[ummmm]

OG - My grand parents had 13 children brought up in a tiny 2 bedroom cottage. They must have had rudies in front of some of them.

[Old_Geezer]

OK but I assume you aren't saying it is ok for either them or fruitsalad's granddaughter.

[fruitsalad]

My Son is in prison for those that asked

[ummmm]

No...course not.

[ummmm]

That was to OG..

When will he be out, Fruitsalad?

[hc4361]

Phone the NSPCC for advice.
https://www.nspcc.org.uk/services-and-resources/nspcc-helpline/

[Old_Geezer]

Unfortunate.

You need expert opinion rather than people's thoughts. Maybe hc's suggestion is a good place to start.

[fruitsalad]

Hes on remand so we are not sure yet, maybe a year or two

[masma]

Maybe you could say to the mother that you'd be willing to look after her little girl if she ever wanted her boyfriend to stay over, being as mum and daughter share a bed.