I can't offer much in the way of advice on location, more commiserations and best wishes.
I've had issues with trochanteric bursitis for some time. I had a steroid injection both sides at my rheumatology clinic, some years ago now, which really calmed it down but it's back with a vengeance. Mine is an intense burning pain down the side of my thigh, although it can get very acute with stabbing pains at times, like large hot needles being stabbed it in, when irritated. I actually shrieked the other day with it.
I've got things to help prop me in positions where it isn't so irritated which help to a degree if that would help you?
I really hope you can get an early appointment and get something sorted.
Don't be embarrassed by the stress incontinence. Far more common than you probably imagine. Wearing pads could help in the interim, put your mind at more rest maybe, also easy to get rid of and replace if you are out and can get to a loo.
I wish you all the best. Let us know how you get on.