Funeral Tuesday

[Traci66]

Don't know how I'm going to get through it, daughter still not speaking to me after my granddaughter died when I was supposed to be looking after her

[rockyracoon]

Oh Traci, this has to be the saddest thread that I think I've ever read on AB. Peace be with you and your family at this very difficult time :(

[pastafreak]

Oh,dear...I'd not seen your earlier post. I'm so, so very sorry and my heart goes out to you and your family. I hope your daughter comes to realise that there can be no blame...certainly not on you. Some little ones are simply not meant to be with us long, and little Harley Rae was one of them.

[tonyav]

Very very sad news, Traci.
I can only echo what rockyracoon says.

[Traci66]

Tilly because I slept for almost 6 hours with a baby in the Cot next to me

[Traci66]

I let her down

[Patsy33]

Please don't blame yourself. In time, I'm sure your daughter will see things differently. Try and be strong for your daughter. She needs someone to blame at the moment, and as been mentioned, it's always those nearest and dearest to us. A very sad time for you all. Treasure the time you had with your little granddaughter. I wish you all strength. xxx

[Mamyalynne]

You didn't let anyone down.

Maybe, just maybe after the funeral has been dealt with you and your daughter could visit a bereavement counsellor together.

[pixie374]

You did not let her down. You did what any of us would have done and I'm glad she had the comfort of you being there. Your daughter will come round- she is taking it out on the person she trusts most, she is lashing out understandably, but I don't imagine she actually believes it.

[Traci66]

She has told me time and time again it is my fault, it's all she's spoken to me

[woofgang]

Were you expected to keep a 24/7 watch on the baby? Did someone tell you to? Because that's the only thing that I can think of that would make you think that any of this horrible and sad situation is your fault. Anger in bereavement is very common and as others have said, it usually gets taken out on our nearest. I am so sorry for your loss and for your daughter's loss but please don't berate yourself. I hope that you reconcile soon.

[pixie374]

I'm sure she has and I'm sure you have thought the same too- it's human to think.. what if, if only, I should have... rationally, you all know there is nothing you could have done to prevent it. If you could, you would have. Nobody is feeling rational right now. I wish I could change it for you all xx

[DTCwordfan]

print off our thoughts and carry them with you, Traci - for your own strength in this - and you can always bite the paper when frustrated or under stress....!

[chrissa1]

Tracie. I posted on here a few weeks ago about an old friend of my son’s. His 14 month old daughter suddenly died in his arms and there was nothing that could be done. Air ambulance attended to no avail.

These deaths are unbelievabley tragic but they do, happen.
Your daughter is grieving. It was Not your fault!

[Traci66]

I tried so hard to save her, I tried to rescitate,the paramedics turned up with 6 police officers, I wasn't allowed back in my home for hours because it was a crime scene. How would that make you feel

[Mamyalynne]

It would make me feel wretched,guilty and not wishing to go on - all of that coupled with your Daughter's take on this must be almost impossible to bear.

Bear it you must sadly.

She is trying to convince herself that death didn't creep in silently and take the little one but that you missed something - you didn't.

[pixie374]

I can't think of anything worse. Your daughter is blaming you to delay blaming herself... she will get to that and it is neither of your fault. Stay strong for everyone xx

[DTCwordfan]

Traci - do you need professional help soonest....I ask as things may seem incredibly black at the moment (understandable) but, if you do, may I suggest sooner than later - This wasn't of your making....if you need help with a contact number, I am sure there will be folk who can direct you to the best resource.....

[-SharonA-]

I am so sorry to hear this, but Traci do not blame yourself. It is not your fault.
Your daughter is just lashing out in her grief. I just hope one day she realises that you're not to blame.

[tinkerbell23]

Its not your fault Traci. This is the most horrendous time for you.

Thinking of you xxx

[tamborine]

So many tried to revive your darling g.dter from a cot death.

You did your best for her and called in paramedics. You are traumatised and need all your strength to live on. I wish you the best & hope you will see your gp for help.