Lack Of Sleep In Children

[tiggerblue10]

Over the past few months little Tigs has been having a hard time trying to get to sleep. Once I've got him to bed he often lays awake till 11 or 12 before falling asleep. Today, he fell asleep during a lesson and got detention.

I've contacted my GP and they are referring him to a child psychologist due to the problems at school which are impacting on his mental health, but in the meantime what can I do to help him with sleep?

[jno]

can't argue with that, Canary. Still Tigs does seem to have a problem with sleeping, better approached as a medical one rather than a disciplinary one

[tiggerblue10]

His mentor tutor told me she will be communicating with all his teachers regarding his mental health issues and related implications with his learning.

[diddlydo]

Try no phone after 6 p.m and, although it may sound harsh, take his phone away at that time and don't let him near it again until 7 a.m.

[tiggerblue10]

That won't work, diddly. He talks with his dad and nan (my mum) in the evenings. We've agreed on a 9pm turn off during the week and 9.30 on Fri/Sat.

[jourdain2]

I agree with diddlydo. Phones etc. should be off for at least an hour before bedtime. I've read some research about the way they overstimulate (can't remember details. Personally I'd make it 2 hours. I assume his bedtime is c. 9 p.m. at age 12, so he needs to be winding down well before then.

This is where a little, calm reading comes in. Bedtime stories are called that for a reason. Ensure that no standby lights from gadgets are on in the room. The warm milk also sounds good.

We had/have similar problems with my grandson. He doesn't take enough physical exercise and is over-stimulated by electronic games etc.. If you can, try to ensure that he is physically tired as well.

[tiggerblue10]

He has a smart lamp and dims it to the lowest setting when reading his book. He needs at least 9 hours sleep and I get him up at 7 so as long as he's asleep by 10 he should get that.

[calmck]

Ten is a bit late. Can he talk to his dad earlier. 11 year old grandson is in bed no later than 9 with Ipad under his pillow for story or music. He is usually asleep before 10 but does sometimes need his mum to lie down with him if he has had a bad day.
Re school Leo was having a hard time at his first school, August baby and youngest in the class and egged on by older boys. Switched schools and in class of 10 and doing much better but because of his sister spending up to three weeks a month 6 hours away and doing on line schooling Leo wants to be with her more so is starting on line after Xmas. School based in Edingburgh and has children from all over Europe, many are theatrical kids or, like my granddaughter are in training. She is 14 and a show jumper with completions starting Fridays and training every day. The timetables are created for each child's needs. She has no lessons on Fridays and finishes at 2 every day. Classes are small and some kids are special needs. They do Cambridge exams. We are lucky here as there are "hubs" that Leo can go to once a week, do his online lessons with a tutor available if needed, other kids to play with and extra curricular activities. They cook their own lunch etc. Being on line there is no bullying, the kids have to have their camera on so the teacher can see them but not the other kids. There is less stigma of needing help and when Lili started she felt more able to say she didn't understand something

[tiggerblue10]

The 9pm turn off is a compromise, Calmck otherwise he'll have a tantrum which will escalate and make things worse.

I would love to home school him or get a private tutor in but aside from all the bullying he still needs interaction with other students.

[calmck]

With the online schooling you don't do the teaching. The kids go on line and the teacher and kids have their cameras on. Lili still sees her old school friends and has made new ones who she rides with when she is up in Porto with her trainer. Leo will meet with his school friends on Saturdays and will be able to go with his sister to Porto and reconnect with the kids he met at summer camp this year.
Lili has made friends on line and, with parental permission, the kids can contact each other out of school time. She is meeting up with one girl in London before Xmas.
If ther are activity groups near you that meet on Saturdays could he join in. Near us is a mountain bike activity centre, a skate park and in the summer a surf school

[calmck]

The bullying could be one reason why he is not sleeping. He could be anticipating what is going to happen "tomorrow"

[calmck]

If he doesn't go to sleep "tomorrow" won't come

[tiggerblue10]

Yes, the stuff going on at school is causing him anxiety and constantly on his mind. When he spoke to the gp yesterday he was asked if he had ever thought of self harm to which he replied yes, once he did, last year.

No matter what discipline the school deals out to anyone carrying out the bullying I doubt it will ever stop especially out of sight of the teachers. What I would like out of the counselling is being able to talk about his worries and help with coping mechanisms.

Online schooling sounds good. I will look into it.

[LadyCG]

I don't know if this may be of any use to you, Tiggs:

https://www.sleepfoundation.org/magnesium#:~:text=Research%20shows%20that%20magnesium%20may,asleep%20faster%20and%20slept%20longer

No child should be punished for falling asleep. Mine did recently and I had to go and fetch him from school. He had been poorly though.

There is also some suggestion that the humble banana could be a good remedy:

https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/banana-before-bed#:~:text=Bananas%20are%20rich%20in%20sleep,been%20linked%20to%20improved%20sleep.

[tiggerblue10]

I've been looking into foods that can aid or induce sleep, LCG and along with bananas, Romaine lettuce has a chemical that can make you feel sleepy.

[LadyCG]

I'm not sure if celery does too, but I can't stand the stuff anyway so we never have it in the house.

[tiggerblue10]

I don't like celery unless it's cooked in a soup or base for stews.

[LadyCG]

Even in soups you still get those damn stringy bits.

I can't believe the school dished out demerits followed by detention. Hasn't the poor kid been through enough? I'd seriously think about a complaint to the Head Teacher followed by Ofsted if that doesn't yield an apology and an undertaking that it won't happen again.

[tiggerblue10]

I'll raise it with the school next week.

[ZebuSanctuary]

// Mine did recently and I had to go and fetch him from school. He had been poorly though. //

Sending a poorly child to school? Tut tut...

[LadyCG]

I said he "had" been poorly, not he was poorly. The tiredness post-dated the sickness. I hope that assuages any concerns you might have :-)