Help for exhausted mother

[Kristal]

What would any mother of a 1 year old boy and a girl of 2 and a half both of whom have been diagnosed with asthma, do where both children only want to cling to her when they are ill and cannot be diverted? They both get continuous viruses which result in asthma and are prescribed antibiotics as well as cortisone. This is not a medical question and I am asking for some suggestions to give the mother some rest. The husband's job keeps him away a lot, friends have children of their own and family are distant, so the support network is not good. The mother is exhausted with lack of sleep and the demands on her and can barely find time to make a cup of tea. Would you try to stop going against your feelings,separate from the children and block your ears ? Any help will be appreciated.

[crete]

contact your health visitor and explain your situation, you require some support,

[mnko]

I feel for you. my 2 children also have asthma and can be very clingy. I'm lucky my wife does her best and have great in-laws. You need 2 get help, and soon, You cant keep going on like that. your body will give up. you need some time 2 urself even an hour here and there will help so much. Do you have any mother toddler groups near you? As Crete says get in touch with your health visitor they should be able to help. good luck

[noxlumos]

I very well remember my son Rychard who had asthma being exactly like a limpet when he was a wee toddler, and it was exhausting, really knackering.
He was on a nebuliser which he hated so he was clingy beyond words. What we did as best we could was to prop him up on pillows in whichever room we had to do anything in and spend 10 minutes or so with a little sort of ritual cuddle, then begin to tell them a story. As the story progressed I'd begin to do whatever I needed to do in the room, tidying up whatever and then we'd move onto the next room and repeat the situation, substituting songs etc when I ran out of stories. It's a way of still paying attention to the child and indulging it's need for comfort whilst not actually having it clinging to you and eventually I found he took to it quite well. I then lengthened the time involved that I was physically away from him, and always came back and gave him a hug or cuddle after, so he knwe he'd not lost the comforting contact for good. It did take a while though and this lasted through for years as well, so crete and mnko are absolutely right, get some help from your health visitor if you can and get a break, but this does at least enable you not to be sitting down all day with them clinging to you, although they are bound to object at first.
Of course the more they cry and get upset the worse the asthma is, so they feel worse and cry more and make it worse again, it's a viscious circle, so I really do feel for you.

[Lonnie]

crete has it in one, I go to work, and my wife, (bless her) has to cope with my Autistic daughter alone, but luckily, we have a good Social Services network where we are, the community nurse realised the strain she was under, and they now provide a care agency for three hours a day, Saturday and Sunday, which gives her a bit of a break.

You need to contact your S/S and see what sort of help they can give, thats what they are there for.

I really feel for your situation, and hope things work out for you.