its werid but im scared im goin to get hurt by my boyfriend

[xxlizziexx]

hi all, hope ur ok. ok so me and my boyfriend have been with each other for nearly 5 months. i love him to pieces dont get me wrong but the last few times ive seen him i just like, get a bit scared. not of him at all, but im scared of getting hurt or hurting him. ok so i had a REALLY bad and horrible relationship b4 i was with him and it hurt me ever so much, but im just really scared of getting hurt now cuz its like serious and he adores me and is always texting me and ringing me and hugging me and kissing me he adores me, im not trying to show off or anything so please dont get that impression just i do love him so much, just im so scared of getting hurt wen i no he isnt going to hurt me. its really strange
has anyone else been in this situation? its a werid one i no but i just need help to deal with it and like not be emotionally scared! please help, any help welcome. xx

[helsbels666]

I think a lot of people will no this feeling, its like fear of giving too much of yourself. At the end of the day, you may or may not get hurt but lifes too short not to find out.... Have you talked to your boyfriens about this?

[patiodors]

You really have to learn to relax and enjoy the attention - wallow in it girl!!! If he has shown no signs of hurting you so far you really shouldn't assume that it will happen. So much time can go by and be wasted by negative feelings - and these can also affect your relationship adversely. It sounds like you have struck gold this time - remember the old saying you have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince. True enough some girls aren't that lucky, and it there are no guarantees that this won't go pear-shaped BUT it's all part of life and learning. Don't hold it against him that the previous 'frogs' in your life have hurt you, he doesn't deserve that. ENJOY IT!!!!!! (and he will enjoy being with you too.)

[xxlizziexx]

to helsbels666 - no i havnt beacuse i no it will hurt him. i just want to be able to get over it ya no wot i mean?

ive had so much in my life that has gone wrong, so many of my family have passed away or been rreally ill its hurts me, i got builled badly at skool and that hurt me so much, im just paraniod im going to get hurt or hurt him.

[acorn]

Its insecurity and judging by what you have been through in you life its hardly surprising. But for now you have someone who is proud to show you how much he loves you. Youve put up a shield and its going to take some coaxing to let it down a little. But if your ever going to have a half decent, happy relationship then its something youre going to have to do. Being hurt is part of life unfortuntely. But so is being happy.

[jno]

sounds like your life has turned around; but of course it will take time to adjust - it always does, with big changes. The most important thing is not to start doubting yourself, telling yourself that you don't deserve to have someone so nice, that you're a bad person because bad things that have happened to you before... do that and you may start to engineer another bad thing by subconsciously trying to provoke him into treating you badly. People in your situation do do this sometimes. It's just a reaction to the way their lives used to be. Try not to worry about what the future may hold; it's unforeseeable. Just relax and enjoy the pleasure of being loved.

[*ALFIE*]

Lizzie - sounds like you're in a 5 month relationship that after a very long time

[Amara]

Hi Lizzie - It's not what happens to us in our life that is the most important thing - it is how we deal with it. Everyone on this planet has difficult times, sad times and grief to deal with. Unfortunately if we live in fear, we make that our reality. Accept your feelings about what has happened in your life and let them go. It sounds like a wonderful time for you right now and you should go with the flow and enjoy every second of it. Don't ever be scared of something that may never happen - live in the moment and love life. Love and light Amara x

[xxlizziexx]

hmm i guess ur all rite : ) thnx 4 the answers so far : )i guess its just all got to me now,it just shocks me that ive only had 15 years of my life and so much as happend in it, and people that are like 50 are only just going through what i been through. thnx for the advice froma ll of you : ) means alot.

p.s alfie - i dont get what you put? is there surposed to be more to that sentence or not? sorry! dont mean to be rude!

[jno]

15 and already had a bad relationship, ouch! Don't worry, one of the things about experience is that we learn from it. Once you know the things that can go wrong, you're more likely to recognise the warning signals another time.