Unreasonable dad ?

[carrust]

I'm divorced & live my son.His 21st birthday is coming up in October.His mother & sister have offered to buy him a tattoo to celebrate the occasion. I've told him if he gets a tattoo I will throw him out of the house. I think i'm saving him from mutilating his body,& saving him from embarassment in later years.What do you lot think?

[Pippa68]

Ok carrust..as you wouldn't throw your daughter out for becoming pregnant you are obviously deciding to be very choosy about the mistakes your kids make.

A baby is for life too, you know ~ and can have far more devastating effects on people than a tattoo. You are not trying to stop your son from making a mistake. You are simply forcing your opinions on him. That's a different kettle of fish.

You have opinions that are based (probably) on the job you once had. On the other hand you may have always been like this, I don't know. In any case, your question is no longer valid to me as it appears you aren't thinking of your son at all but yourself.

[yesmadam]

lmao, his chosen career path better be a Tattooist.

[Rubyrose]

I've just read the replies on this thread and I'd like to say I am shocked at you Carrust!!!!!!!!!!

From where I am sitting your son sounds more mature than you! You really do have a blinkered view!

You posted a Q on a forum expecting everyone to agree with you and when we didn't you asked a Q seeking someone to agree! If 20 people disagreed but one had the same views as you, which way would you have gone?

I think you need to cut the cord, give your son some credit and allow him to grow up and make his own life descisions!
If you kick up at something as small as this then he won't come to you with the really big stuff!

My mum and dad always told us they didn't like tattoos and they tried to put us off it so much that when my sister hit 18 (she is now 19) she went and got one on her back! She wanted it more because she was told she wasn't allowed it but she knew she could get one as she was old enough!

[mccfluff]

i hate tattoo's but would never stop anyone from having one. its his body you can give him your advice but its his choice and you need to respect that

[mazie]

carrust, what did your son say when you told him you would throw him out?

[Xanthippe]

Hi carrust, just thought I'd mention that tattoo's can be removed at a later date if so desired and the attached site shows a number of ways this can be achieved.

http://www.patient-info.com/tattoo.htm

[newtron]

He's going to be 21, kick him out of the house, tattoo or no tattoo. He's old enough to take care of himself. Just kidding. Hopefully, we won't be living with you when he is in his thirties though. To answer your question, yes you are being unreasonable.

[sweetdor]

seems like you want to run his life for him and im surprized hes stayed with you this long.....this is the real world..get use to it,or you may not have a son much longer

[4getmenot]

Do you think we've scared carrust off guys :-/

[RATTER15]

Try being a Father not a dictator, I really don't believe you would be such a BA$TARD, what are you on man!!!

[Nemesis9]

Hmmn, I'm starting to feel somewhat sorry for carrust after reading some of the judgemental, self-righteous, pious, condemnation being heaped upon him for his intransigent attitude, by those whose own opinions are equally as uncompromising.

[Nemesis9]

Let me play 'Devils Advocate', everyone is telling you to respect your sons decision, but ignoring the fact that, by getting a tattoo, your son would be showing contempt for, i.e. not respecting, your views on the subject.
Respect only has any value if it is reciprocated.

[4getmenot]

yes nemesis, some people are calling him names. I dont change my opinion that its up to his sone but this doesnt make him a b@stard just a caring parent who's maybe just a bit overprotective. better than being a dad who doesnt care.

[Pippa68]

That's a load of bollow, Nemesis. The son is getting his body tattooed. He isn't tattooing his dad is he?

His son is an adult, not a child. His father is threatening to throw him out of the house. No doubt he would have threatened the same if he had been younger than 21.

He asked for our opinions and he got them. He seems to be the type who would stamp his feet (or worse) if he doesn't have any agreement with others opinions.

[Rubyrose]

Nemisis.... thats all very well said that his son isn't reciprocating the respect but why the hell should he? He isn't asking to borrow his dads car! He is getting a tattoo on HIS OWN body! He isn't tattooing his dad or asking them to get joint ones!!!!! He is doing something that will have ABSOLUTELY NO affect on anyone but himself! No-one will think any less of him for having a tattoo except his dad and if you ask me.. if thats how my dad felt about me then I'd rather not have his respect!

[Pippa68]

I think the issue here is with carrust and his experiences during his career as a probation officer. He shouldn't be bringing his work home.

He may well have had complete contempt for the people he worked with who displayed tattoos. How nice.

[Nemesis9]

Clearly many of the answers given are from people who either aren�t parents, or who are perhaps unable (or unwilling) to understand the motivation behind this man�s actions.
As a caring parent it is only natural that he feels protective towards his son, and wants to prevent him from doing something �he thinks� he may later regret. The threat is heavy handed and misguided yes, but is born out of love and care. So perhaps a little less condemnation, and a little more constructive advice, please.

[4getmenot]

as the majority of these posts think he is being unreasonable then we are not going to change our mind just because you say go easy. As I said I agreed that name calling is a bit too much but most of us have been nice and just given our opinion like he asked. But he already knows what he wants to hear so why ask.

[Rubyrose]

Nemisis, most of the opinions were helpful and full of advice until Carrust was covering his cyber ears and seeking advice from people only agreeing with him!

[asteroid99]

I think the punishment doesn't fit the 'crime'. Throwing him is very extreme for having a tattoo!!!
Plus have you considered that kicking him out might hurt you more then it hurts him? He's got his whole life ahead of him - are you prepared to miss out on grandchildren, etc, if this action causes a rift between you?