bf trouble

[stylinsam]

on saturday night my bf didnt stay over at mine which he usually does, so on sunday i woke up and thought id have a big tidy up did my ironing and stuff, then my bf rung me up on the phone and asked me to go to his house! he said if he wasnt at his house he would be up the pub just up the road from him
so i got a taxi (didnt drive cos i thought id be drinking) went into his house his mum said oh hes out somewhere, so i thought he'll be up the pub so walks up to the pub and the doors are locked so i stood around for an hour trying to ring his mobile which was switched of then finally decided to go home. he didnt ring me all night until 1.00 this morning and he told me he had gone to a different pub with his mates and dad without even telling me, i said to him cos i was pi$$ed of,
i dont wanna be with you anymore and he said that he'd never forgive me for saying that, and turned everything around on me like i was the one who had done something wrong, now he wont speak to me cos hes sulking but i feel like im running after him. and i dont want to!
Any ideas guys please!! 

[spanner7853]

do the same to him and see how he likes it or dump him. what an a&*&^ hole

[turboped]

Move on, when it's right you don't play games.

[stylinsam]

i cant just dump him iv been with him 4 years,

[stylinsam]

im 21 not 14 ! cant just ring him up on the phone oh by the way your dumped iv got another bf its more complicated than that. thanks for your ideas though :P

[electricblue]

sorry sam but whats ?

[noxlumos]

Either ignore it and put it behind you and wait for him to call you , which it sounds like he will once you've stopped calling him, or decide to call it a day depending how you feel about him.
Being together for four years is not a reason in itself to stay together, things have to be right or it's not worth it as you're depriving yourself of the chance to meet the one who is.
Have a think about it and just don't buy into his childish games, that'll bring him down to earth with a real bump.

[electricblue]

oh,how come mines a square?

[redcrx]

has he done this sort of thing before? If he has then you can just dump him, why show him any consideration if he doesnt show you any.

If its a one time offence then talk to him and get to the bottom of why he did it.

[stylinsam]

i dunno what that thing is at the end of my q strange!!

[fayelc123]

Hi Sam,
Sorry to hear about your troubles!
If i was you i would just turn my phone my off for the rest of the day, until you get home tonight. That way if he does try to call you he might realise how wrong he was for what he did. Then i would arrange to go for a drink with a friend or invite your friend round to yours to help take your mind off him & slag him off to help make you feel better!!
& just wait for him to call you.

Hope you sort things out soon! x

[JackDanielsU]

He has some serious making- up to do. If he had changed his mind and wanted a lads day out, it doesnt take long to say that on the phone.

If he cant see he is in the wrong, then hes a fool. You both may have said some harsh words, but the heat of the moment and all that.
Hopefully it will all settle down, and calm waters will appear.

G Luck .....JD

[electricblue]

Is he trying to show his 'power',does he think its the laddish thing to do seeing as he was with mates?Or did he just c0ck up and wont back down to it?

[Suzyboo]

He was inconsiderate and should have been apologising regardless of your reaction. He reacted immaturely and his refusal to speak to you now makes it worse because he hasn't even got the excuse of it being in the heat of the moment. Your initial reaction of not wanting to be with him any more was the right one because if after 4 years he can treat you like this, you are better off without him. I know you really wanted advice on how to sort things out with him but you should just move on and wait to meet someone who is more considerate and treats you with respect.

[~Wingnut~]

Hi Sam :o)

I'm afraid I agree with the others, this is no way to treat someone you love. I wouldn't contact him, let him see you are serious about this and that you are very hurt that he could treat you this way.
I think when you are both back on speaking terms you need to sit down and have a talk with him about where your relationship is heading and why he feels it is ok to let you down in such a big way then make out like it is your fault!
Ask him to put himself in your shoes, how would he feel then? How did he know you were safe and ok? He had told you to meet him then not been there! Was he not worried!

Sorry I can't be of much help Sam, hope it all works out, take care xx

[Champagne]

Hi Sam. Quite frankly, I think you were very silly to react by dumping him. I can understand that you probably acted in anger but you shouldn't do something so dramatic unless you're willing to face the consequences. The best thing you could do now in apologise for over-reacting and say that you won't do it again, but would appreciate him being a bit more conscientious next time. If he's a decent man then he'll accept your apology an move on. Good luck! x

[Suzyboo]

Champagne she should not apologise because she wasn't in the wrong. She can say that she didn't mean it when she said that they should finish but the only person who should apologise is him and his lack of consideration warrants more reaction than "please be more considerate in future"

[Octavius]

I agree with Champagne, if you didn't mean it you shouldn't have said it. Nevertheless, if you can't and don't want to up with someone who treats you like this (and why would you) then you should end it anyway. Move on.

[Champagne]

Suzyboo, I wasn't suggesting that she apologises for HIS behaviour, only her own. He was definitely in the wrong, but Sam's actions have now caused a bigger problem and I think she needs to resolve this before addressing his conduct.

Sam, try not to act in anger next time. Give yourself time to think about it. Plus it'll make him panic if you don't react straight away!!!

[Suzyboo]

Champagne, I understood exactly what you think she should apologise for and still disagree that she should. I don't think that she has caused a problem at all, he simply used that as an excuse to avoid explaining his own selfish behaviour and I don't think she should hold back on her reactions in future, should she decide to still try to make a go of things with him because a relationship where you can't say what you think isn't worth having

[Octavius]

Whatever you say, but I suspect Sam will end up apologising, you can glean as much from her post above.

I still think that a relationship cannot exist harmoniously with selfish and OTT reactionary behaviour on each side.