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bf trouble
41 Answers
on saturday night my bf didnt stay over at mine which he usually does, so on sunday i woke up and thought id have a big tidy up did my ironing and stuff, then my bf rung me up on the phone and asked me to go to his house! he said if he wasnt at his house he would be up the pub just up the road from him
so i got a taxi (didnt drive cos i thought id be drinking) went into his house his mum said oh hes out somewhere, so i thought he'll be up the pub so walks up to the pub and the doors are locked so i stood around for an hour trying to ring his mobile which was switched of then finally decided to go home. he didnt ring me all night until 1.00 this morning and he told me he had gone to a different pub with his mates and dad without even telling me, i said to him cos i was pi$$ed of,
i dont wanna be with you anymore and he said that he'd never forgive me for saying that, and turned everything around on me like i was the one who had done something wrong, now he wont speak to me cos hes sulking but i feel like im running after him. and i dont want to!
Any ideas guys please!! 
so i got a taxi (didnt drive cos i thought id be drinking) went into his house his mum said oh hes out somewhere, so i thought he'll be up the pub so walks up to the pub and the doors are locked so i stood around for an hour trying to ring his mobile which was switched of then finally decided to go home. he didnt ring me all night until 1.00 this morning and he told me he had gone to a different pub with his mates and dad without even telling me, i said to him cos i was pi$$ed of,
i dont wanna be with you anymore and he said that he'd never forgive me for saying that, and turned everything around on me like i was the one who had done something wrong, now he wont speak to me cos hes sulking but i feel like im running after him. and i dont want to!
Any ideas guys please!! 
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I think your reaction was natural - it sounds like he felt bad about what he had done and perhaps used what you had saidto ease his conscience a bit. However, I have been in a similar situation a few years back and I know the wait for him to call is unbearable...
How about writing to him? Tell him you reacted that way because he made you feel angry/let down etc. It means you can get your point(s) across without a row. He might not be taking your calls but he's unlikely to ignore that.
How about writing to him? Tell him you reacted that way because he made you feel angry/let down etc. It means you can get your point(s) across without a row. He might not be taking your calls but he's unlikely to ignore that.
I don't think anyone is trying to make you out as the bad guy Sam, but the point is selfish dolt that he might be, you DID say you didn't want to be with him, so you are going to have to clear that up BEFORE you deal with his behaviour earlier in the day. Octavius is right, reactionary behaviour only makes a realtionship unstable and so both his behaviour and yours is going to cause things to rollercoaster up and down if you don't nip it in the bed. you don't have to apologise as such, just say that you were upset, hurt and didn't really mean it and see if he wants to continue. If he does, then address the way he treated you. If he doesn't then you'll just have to move on. It just sounds like a daft series of events that got out of control to me at ther moment, but stubbourness and reactionary behaviour will only make it a igger deal, so get talking to each other.
sam honey, can hear your upset but you asked for ideas so here's mine...I'm afraid I agree with Nox, champers and Octavius. I'm not for a second saying you're a bad person, or the one who triggered off this chaos, but you did contribute to it. Two wrongs don't make a right. You have to take responsibility for your reactions before you can expect him to. If you apoloogise for saying something you didn't mean, then you've done what you can, it's up to him to either accept that (in which case you need to look at his thoughtless and rude behaviour) or move on if he won't accept that.
I'm sure it'll all work out fine babes. take care. x
I'm sure it'll all work out fine babes. take care. x
Well said noxlumos.
Sam, I wouldn't stand for that sort of behaviour either. I have to say that even though I think you were wrong to act in anger, I have been prone to it myself. Nobody's perfect after all. Even me! haha!
You're saying that you don't think you should apologise, which is fair enough, but at the same time you're scared that if you do nothing you may lose him. So you're going to have to find some middle ground here.
Sam, I wouldn't stand for that sort of behaviour either. I have to say that even though I think you were wrong to act in anger, I have been prone to it myself. Nobody's perfect after all. Even me! haha!
You're saying that you don't think you should apologise, which is fair enough, but at the same time you're scared that if you do nothing you may lose him. So you're going to have to find some middle ground here.
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Hi again Sam,
Your by no means the bad person here, yes maybe you shouldn't have said what you did but that was done in haste in a matters of seconds, he had you in turmoil for hours and had no thought or concern for you, his girlfriend.
If you really think he wouldn't get back in contact if you didn't make the first move, what does that say about him and how he see's your relationship after 4 years?
I'm sorry your hurting, I went out with someone for 2 yrs who constantly stood me up. I remember countless times waiting hours, sometimes days and just knowing he wasn't going to turn up, then have some stupid excuse when I did next see him. That wait is just awful. Maybe you blurted out that you didn't want to be with him anymore because in the back of your mind it is how you really feel.
From all your posts in the past you have always come across as a very nice person Sam, so there's no worries there :o)
Your by no means the bad person here, yes maybe you shouldn't have said what you did but that was done in haste in a matters of seconds, he had you in turmoil for hours and had no thought or concern for you, his girlfriend.
If you really think he wouldn't get back in contact if you didn't make the first move, what does that say about him and how he see's your relationship after 4 years?
I'm sorry your hurting, I went out with someone for 2 yrs who constantly stood me up. I remember countless times waiting hours, sometimes days and just knowing he wasn't going to turn up, then have some stupid excuse when I did next see him. That wait is just awful. Maybe you blurted out that you didn't want to be with him anymore because in the back of your mind it is how you really feel.
From all your posts in the past you have always come across as a very nice person Sam, so there's no worries there :o)
hey sam, well i've had my fair share of problems with my blokey and i totally understand how you feel. the best way to sort things is to talk. ignoring him doesn't get you anywhere! i find that if you explain exactly how he made you feel (he may get angry/pi$$ed off to start with) but give him space after and hopefully he'll come to his senses and realise how you felt and maybe you'll get an apology! this worked for me the other day! i too was so angry and said i didn't want to be with my bf any more but it was just in the heat of the moment.
i know you've said it now and feel bad cos you don't want your relationship to finish but perhaps it'll make your bf sit up and think and maybe he'll try a bit harder.
good luck hun, hope you can sort things out with him. Sxx
i know you've said it now and feel bad cos you don't want your relationship to finish but perhaps it'll make your bf sit up and think and maybe he'll try a bit harder.
good luck hun, hope you can sort things out with him. Sxx
you should kick his ass sam the least he could have done was let you know what his plans where its him thats in the wrong tell him why yr pi55ed off when yve had a chance to cool down a bit so it dosnt turn into a row and then you can sort it if he wont budge and digs his heels in then give him the ol if you dont like it you know what to do routine.
it works with me any way my angel soon knows how to put me in my place if i fcuk up
it works with me any way my angel soon knows how to put me in my place if i fcuk up
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