prostate cancer

[mnko]

my wifes grandad has been diagnoosed with protate cancer, she's in bits am trying to find words of encouragement. what can i say? all i can do is be there 4 her and listen, but i feel i should be doing more.

[888sally888]

My dad died of cancer 2 years ago and I can understand the pain and devastation she feels.

You are doing the right thing - just being there to listen and cuddle her will help. Obviously the practical things help too like driving her to hospital to visit etc. Even a cup of tea made for me helped.

I wish you both luck and a good outlook for grandad too.

[mnko]

My father died of a cancerous brain tumour just over 4 years ago, i know how she's feeling but with the momeries that its bringing back thats why im finding it hard.she was there 4 me and im here for her but it bought all the memory of my dad dying. I gotta be strong for her like she was for me.

[888sally888]

Its so hard I know. About 1.5 years after my dad died I went to a friends dad's funeral (I didnt even know him) and cried my eyes out. Like you say it all comes back. Stange as I was really controlled and strong at my own dads funeral.

I am sure you will be strong and a great shoulder to cry on - you sound kind. Maybe you should look at it as a positive that you so understand how she is feeling and maybe your dad is looking down on you feeling proud. I like to think my dad is guiding me along. Oh dear all emotional now.

[mnko]

i'm sorry. i fell bad now bringing it up. please dont cry

[jake-the-peg]

I don't know how bad he is from your post but prostate cancer is a very survivable illness these days something like 70%

http://info.cancerresearchuk.org/cancerstats/t ypes/prostate/survival/

Some of the better odds are for older men too.

Best of luck

[888sally888]

No am OK really. Hope like me you have lots of good memories of your dad. Mine was a nut case and I can think of him and smile 99% of the time.

What was your dad like?

[larkin]

I used to work with patients who were suffering from prostate cancer and still keep in touch with old colleagues. I believe that the recognition and cure is many times better than it was even 7-8 years ago. Has he had a prognosis mnko ? If so, how are they planning on treating him - this may give some indication as to the extent of the cancer ?

[saanen]

Your wife is very lucky to have you. Your concern will show, even if you don't find words to express it, and she will take comfort from the knowledge that you love her and care how she feels. Don't worry that the words you use don't sound enough - just do what you are doing - be there, love her, let her worry and let her grieve. You are a lovely lovely person.
x x x x x

[larkin]

...sorry - submitted before I had finished . Obviously the extent of the cancer and treatment will determine how positive or negative the outcome will be and that may well affect the way you and your wife communicate. This sounds as though it is making no sense at all - but my then future father in law died eighteen years ago from cancer and sometimes all my husband wanted to do was sit an think. Sometimes it doesn't matter what you say, it is being there for support that helps.
I hope that everything is as positive for you as it can be. Your wife is very lucky that you care so much .x

[raysparx1]

Hi Glyn, Sorry to hear that matey, but you don't need words a cuddle or a kiss on the forehead is worth more than words, Just be there as I know you will,she will talk to you if she wants to, take care and good luck give my love to pam xx

[888sally888]

See - we all agree and think you are a lovely man

[happy_face]

2 years ago my dad died of Prostare cancer. When we were first told of the cancer we referred back to the old saying of "you don't die of Prostate Cancer you die with it". Basically because they used to say that it's such an inagrresive cancer and only old men get it. But my dad was 62 and I don't see that as old and his cancer was extremely aggressive. He died after 18 months of being told. The docs tried everything but nothing worked. My other half felt really lost like you and didn't knwo what to do and being in the situation myself I didn't know what I wanted from him either. Most importantly I just wanted him to listen to my fears and most of all not say "it'll be alright, it won't be that bad" when I knew it was already that bad. Just show her that you care and is there for her. Remember that you might have to deal with some mood swings as the stress and worry of the situation will affect her and she might be flying high or low at different times. Good luck to you both and most of all her grandad

[angeldraws]

It is so sad to hear of anyone having cancer.

As previously said - you sound like a kind person, unlike my ex husband who told me i was a miserable b4st4rd when i went to pieces on discovering my grandad and best friend had cancer and died within 4 weeks. My world fell apart. Is there any wonder i divorced him....?
I'm sure you'll do the right thing.....