Can love make you miserable too?

[oceanauk]

I am very confused - i've been on my own a long time and just don't seem to have the knack of working out either my own feelings or other peoples! This is probably a stupid question but I keep getting upset and crying when I think of a person I met a while ago. He gave me mixed messages from the start and now I just don't know how he feels. He doesn't contact me and I see him only occasionally but when I do I feel strange. I cry when I think of him because I like him or I think I have feelings for him or am I just confused? He is a really nice guy but I think he covers being very shy by being really off hand - either that or he can't stand me. But then he'll invite me to dinner so our kids can play together and we have an excellent time. You would think at 30 something (!!) I would have worked all this out by now but no!! Any ideas or comments please? Please be nice! And have a lovely Xmas everybody!

[chicklin]

You should chill out more. Don't get so intense about it. Just relax and go with the flow - if it works out, great! If not, Hey! no problem! Just relax, be yourself and if you're right for each other, it'll click. If not, then just be friends. Life is far too short to worry so much about things.

[ConfusedMum]

considering i'm kind of in the same place - i like someone he's all interested one minute and the next he's backing off a bit blah it's confusing init? add into the mix that i have a 10month old son and a partner of the around 2 years lol but what i'm now realising is that just go with it - don't get too clingy or jump in with both feet and cling on for dear life just ride it through - enjoy the happiness you have together, like the other person said if it works it works, just give it time and enjoy it for what it is! :D

xXx

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, its not unnatural for a female to cry all the time. But, i dont think its a silly question. Have you ever asked him properly if there could ever be anything more between you? I dont understand that you say he doesnt contact you, but then you say he asks you for dinner. He must have some feelings for you as he stays in touch and is comfortable for you to be with him and his kids. I think you are a little confused, but then again, thats only natural being a woman. but you will stay confused until you actually have an intimate and proper chat to him. Have a good Xmas yourself and i hope you get what you want...

[badgerchops]

Well you know if there has been romantic liaisons between you or its friendship. if you are always with the kids then i would think its companionship.

[China Doll]

If it's making you miserable it's not love. I think.

[oceanauk]

I am a very intense person - always have been and I know I need to chill more, but it is hard when you wear you're heart on your sleeve. It is hard to put all the details down but when I said he doesn't contact me - it's only very occassionally and the last time I couldn't meet as I had something else on - since then he doesn't contact me any more. I think looking at all of your responses it seems to be companionship he is after. I feel relieved just knowing that actually. Not sure what you mean by your a woman so it's natural to cry/be confused MrBen5 - pretty sexist I think. Never known a man to be confused or cry?? Hmmmm! Thank you to everyone for your comments.