Today I was stopped for shoplifting!

[pitstopbunny]

I went into a supermarket & helped myself to food, dog food & alcohol because I cannot cope, and, to be honest, I really cannot remember much of what I did! I am an alcoholic, I've been off sick for over 2 and a half years with depression & panic attacks. I just wanted to have a drink (no lectures please), get some proper food to eat & feed my dog.

I am not a bad person, I am well educated but 2 or so years ago I had a breakdown as a result of a lot of bad things happening in my life all at once. I am female, 38 years old and single, on medication for the depression/panic attacks/Bi-polar etc.

I was lucky the police officer just gave me an on the spot fine (which I haven't a hope of paying though), so I haven't got a criminal record, which I am eternally greatful to him for. But what do I do & where do I go from here? I feel like crying, but I am all cried out today. Why cannot I get a grip on reality & life, surely it cannot be that hard!

I do not have any family/friends etc & am very much a loner, leaving the house only when it is necessary. I am also not religious, so I cannot seek divine guidance in this one! Someone help, just point me in the right direction!

I know this is a bit unususal for me to post an unhappy thought, I am just feeling like a load of c**p!

[Trinny]

its so hard to try and advise on here pitstopbunny, as we dont honestly know what you are going through. But there are a good bunch of people on here, who will try and help as best they can ok xx

[cruella]

Hi pitstopbunny
Do you have a CPN that you can call in an emergency.
I am so sorry that you have no one close to talk with to talk out your problems.
Have you tried calling the Samaritans. They do not judge you, just listen to what you have to say.
You really need to be allocated a CPN as soon as possible.
See your Gp as soon as you can and tell him what has happened as you need all the support you can get right now.
Good Luck, Hang in there!

[Trinny]

you wouldnt be wasting the Samaritans time. Ring them please.

[pitstopbunny]

CPN - what is that?

[raysparx1]

Pitstop, ringing the samaritans is never a waste of time, they will listen, they will not judge you, you won't be able to tell them anything they haven't heard before, so please do it, I got some excellent advice a little while ago from them regarding a nephews drug problem, so don't ever feel you are wasting anybodys time xx

[cruella]

Pitstopbunny
It is a Community Phsyciatric Nurse, but as I have advised along with others, call the samaritans now Good Luck

[annie0000]

A CPN is a Community Physciatric Nurse.

[pitstopbunny]

OK I am going to try & get some sleep & see how the world seems tomorrow, Thank you for all the positives xxxxx

[raysparx1]

Sleep well, pitstop, I hope the mist clears a little in the morning and life seems a bit more positive, xx

[bobtheduck-]

i shoplifted once was in traction for a month

[Lonnie]

Hi pitstop, my heart goes out to you, I still remember that photo you posted, gorgeous.

I can't add anything to what Ray, stokeace and others have said, but I wish you well, with all my heart, just try to keep your chin up.

[jump79]

I think being by yourself makes the whole situation a lot more overwhelming and difficult .
It might be helpful to seek a cousellor or a therapist to start with, and then get out of the vicious cycle, by joining some clubs (recerational club, book club etc) where you can meet a lot of people.... being around people will stop you from analysing your problems and life too much.
There's no need to feel bad about what happened today, if anything at least it has made you want to change your lifestyle for better, make sure you follow through. Good luck.

[Joe_the_Lion]

I am sorry to be the only one to say this, but if you have to steal to feed your dog, perhaps you should give it away.

Seek some help throyugh the social services as suggested. More people have a mental health problem than get acne, yet even Sainsbury's sell about 12 different jollops for the skin condition. I am certain therefore help is out there.

Chin up and best of British.

[Metz]

Haven't you got a sister,Dad & Stepmum?? Can't they help?

[natalie_1982]

Hope you feel better in the morning pitstop, try rining your local Mind, the Samaritans and maybe popping down to your local CAB might help.

Near where I live there is an agency called Elmore, they help people who have "complex needs", who, like you, recognise they need a little push in the right direction. They can help in arranging support of any kind (emotional, physical, mental), housing issues (if there are any), managing finances and medications,.... in fact I can't think of anything they can't help, and if they can't they know someone who does!

http://www.elmoreteam.org.uk/

I don't know where you live whether they are close to you, but if you call they might know an agency close to you or try googling "Complex need" and your home town.

Good luck x x

[grasscarp]

Really sorry to hear of your problems now. It must have been awful for you to lose your mum like that. Cant imagine a worse scenario. When you wake up it's a bank holiday so not easy to achieve some of the suggestions here. However, you can see that a lot of strangers are wishing you all the best. As for depression - I have been there and took a long time to get out of it, but can be done with help. Very best wishes for the future.

[raysparx1]

Morning pitstop, Did you manage to get a bit of sleep last night,how are you this morning ? hope you are feeling a little better than you were last night,let us know how you are, take care, Ray xx

[pitstopbunny]

Hi, I am feeling a bit brighter today!

There is no way I could give up my dog, I have already had to put one dog and my cat to sleep 2 months ago, through illness, to have to be parted from my other dog would finish me off, he is all the companionship I have.

Dad and Stepmum have separated and his going through a divorce at the age of 64 and adjusting to single life, so I really do not want to burden him with anything else. My sister (although she only lives 5 minutes away) and I are not close, we see each other once every 2 months if that.

I am just going to try and get through today and see where that takes me, thank you all for the concern you showed, it got my trhough a very dark day! Hugs to you all.

[Joe_the_Lion]

Please don't strave the dog then all because you may not be eating. YOUR destiny is in YOUR hands. However, so is the dogs.

Put the 50p a day for a tin of dog meat in front of your own food.

Sorry, I love animals.

[pitstopbunny]

Me too! When my mum died, I took her little Yorkie in & gave her a home, she was 19 when I had to have her put to sleep in Februray this year, 3 weeks later my Persian cat became ill, he was 18 and I had him since a kitten...it broke my heart to lose the 2 of them in such a short space of time. Bosun is my life, I'd sooner not eat than have him go hungry, so please be assured he will never go without.