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Today I was stopped for shoplifting!

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pitstopbunny | 18:15 Sun 06th May 2007 | Body & Soul
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I went into a supermarket & helped myself to food, dog food & alcohol because I cannot cope, and, to be honest, I really cannot remember much of what I did! I am an alcoholic, I've been off sick for over 2 and a half years with depression & panic attacks. I just wanted to have a drink (no lectures please), get some proper food to eat & feed my dog.

I am not a bad person, I am well educated but 2 or so years ago I had a breakdown as a result of a lot of bad things happening in my life all at once. I am female, 38 years old and single, on medication for the depression/panic attacks/Bi-polar etc.

I was lucky the police officer just gave me an on the spot fine (which I haven't a hope of paying though), so I haven't got a criminal record, which I am eternally greatful to him for. But what do I do & where do I go from here? I feel like crying, but I am all cried out today. Why cannot I get a grip on reality & life, surely it cannot be that hard!

I do not have any family/friends etc & am very much a loner, leaving the house only when it is necessary. I am also not religious, so I cannot seek divine guidance in this one! Someone help, just point me in the right direction!

I know this is a bit unususal for me to post an unhappy thought, I am just feeling like a load of c**p!
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Hello pitstop.
Sorry to hear about how your life is going,but what has happened today might be a blessing in disguise, you obviously need help, why don't you get on to social services in the morning and talk to a social worker, you aren't going to get yourself sorted on your own by the sound of it, it is a good thing that you are talking about it even if it is just on here.
do you attend A/A meetings ? if you do there must be somebody there who can help you, if you don't attend the meetings maybe you should seriously consider doing it, if you don't want to do that, make an appointment with your GP, most of them are very understanding, please do something positive tomorrow, don't sit at home bottling your feelings up, do something about it, good luck and take care, Ray xx
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Thank you Ray x
Hi pitstop, I should have also said, try to stop away from the drink, all that is doing is masking your problems, they will still be there in the morning, drink will only take them away for a little while, but you know that anyway, so please try as hard as you can to avoid hitting the bottle, it really is a short term cure for the crap you are going through. xx
Ray got in before me pitstopbunny, so agreeing with all he has to say. I have suffered really bad depression in the past, so know how it can make you feel. I wish I could offer you more help, I tackled my depression alone, even having a family about, where, I think were unaware at the time of how bad I felt, as I think when you are depressed, you do cut yourself off from others and isolate yourself.

Please go and talk to your doctor pitstopbunny. xx
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I see my doc, all he does is pump me with pills! My mum choked to death 9 years ago in a restaurant on mothers day but why can't I move on???? It was a long time ago now...
The doctor can refer you for counselling. I dont believe a pill can help all, it can relieve the symptoms, but that doesnt cure the underlying problem. Has he mentioned counselling to you pitstopbunny?
pit, im so sorry youve had such a bad day why not stay on line and have a chat tonight, have you contacted social services in your area ?re support ?
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I have a shrink, who is nearly as useless as my GP!!!
If he is not helping you, then can you not get to see someone else?
Hi pitstop, If all you G/P is doing is giving you pills, I don't think he is much of a doctor, you need help not to be numbed by pills just to get you by, I would speak to a social worker, you might also need to speak to a bereavement counsellor because you sound as if you are still grieving for your mum, and if you have bottled this up for 9 years is it any wonder you have problems,I hope you can get yourself some help pitstop,but in the meantime try and avoid the grog. xx
Hey pitstopbunny

So sorry to hear of your saddness, have you tried contacting AA?
Why should you have moved on after 9 years? There is no time limit to grief, so stop punishing yourself that you should feel "over it" by now. My Dad died 10 years ago and I honestly can't think about him without having tears in my eyes, I feel I have never gotten over him dying.
This has been your wake up call, reach out for the help and take it, contact the AA and do what you need to do. I'm not going to tell you that it is going to be easy, it isn't but you certainly can't carry on the way you are and this is your way of asking for help.
Good luck and come on here and talk when you feel the need to, don;t think you are alone :o)
keep your chin up pitstop.
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thank you all for being so lovely!! xx
stay posting, you may well bring the best out of this site tonight.
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right now, I need them to bring something out from me!
am doing my best pitsopbunny
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Thank you Trinny! xxx
hi pitstop, you must talk to somebody, why not give the samaritans a ring,they will help you, ring them now,please xx
Hi Pitstop, my brother died of alcohol related problems 9 years ago on bonfire night. There is not a day goes by when I don't think about him and wonder if there was anything more I could have done for him. Don't be another statistic, your mum wouldn't want you to waste your life away - I am sure that she loved you and would want you to put your grief away and show the world what a brilliant person she brought into the world. I still feel sad that my brother is not with us anymore, but he was a grown man and did his own thing - he needed to decide for himself that living was better than dying and he made his own choices, as hard as that is for the rest of us to accept. Your Mum didn't choose to leave you, and it is tragic what happened, but don't allow that tragedy to breed another!

Maybe getting involved in helping others as a volunteer might give you a new focus in life and get you through the hard times?
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Actually Ray I have been thinking about that..I just would to waste their time

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Today I was stopped for shoplifting!

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