wedding present, not sure!

[wiggal]

Hey all!
My sister is getting married in 2 weeks, we had said to her & her missus that for our wedding gift, we would give them �200.
They have had so much bad luck in planning the wedding, my sisters fiances cousin getting married on the same day, the problems with the catering, then a letter saying they owed alot of money back to the child tax people because they had been given to much in benefits, and last night they had a call to say their limo had broken down and wont be fixed in time so have to find a new car.
I love my sister, and her fiance so so so much, and just want to help them, they cant afford a proper honey moon and the money we are giving them is paying for them to just spend a few days after the wedding together on their own without the kids.
Both me and my partner have agreed we would like to give them more, so are planning to transfer �300/�350 into their account.
But i dont want to make my sister feel bad or like we feel sorry for them or anything by doing this. We can afford to, and as being her little sister, i dont want it to seem like im rubbing it in their face, which im not at all, we just want to help out as much as we can!
I suppose im just asking if we were to transfer more into their account, could it seem to them something other then that we are just trying to help?

Ta!

[wiggal]

Ok i dont think that made nuch sense, so in short terms, i want to hep my sister out as much as possible, but i dont want in anyway for it to make them feel worse because we can afford to do it!

[bednobs]

the problem with putting extra in the accounti s that they might not notice it, an d spend it on ordinary stuff ie bills and things transfer the 200 as arranged, then give them a gift of the other money, ot pay for something at the wedding

[~Wingnut~]

Hi wiggal :o)
If they get a bit funny, stress that your only giving it as it's their wedding present and that you want them to have a break and some fun. Say you wouldn't be doing it any other time and that you want them to enjoy a meal and some champers on you both whilst away, hence the extra then it's up to them if they do that.
I think it's a lovely gesture btw and would do the same for my sister if I could :o)

[wiggal]

Bednobs, the money we are giving them is to pay for the wedding, i just want to be able to help them more

Wingnut,
my bf has said to give them �400, and i think in a way i would love to give them that much but i dont want it to seem like we are shoving it in their face, do you get what i mean? Between the 2 of them, they dont even earn as much as i do alone in a yr, and im 20! I dont want to make my sister feel like we feel sorry for them.
Maybe we pay the �200 into their account this weekend (as we are going up north to see them 2moro for the hen night!) And then give them a card on their wedding day with �100 cash in it?

[~Wingnut~]

How about you put the extra in a card for them as they are leaving for their honeymoon and say "Don't open it until you get there" or hide it in their suitcase if you can and write in the card it is a little extra to spoil themselves with (candle lit dinner with champagne). You wouldn't do it normally and it is only for their wedding so I can't see that they would think you feel sorry for them. Like I say if they query it tell them you wouldn't do it any other time and that they should treat themselves on you two.
When we went away on honeymoon my Mum paid for our taxi to the airport and back when we returned (about �60) and to us it was a nice surprise as we had little money and has been the only holiday we have had in over 8 years. Didn't think anything other than she did a nice thing for us which was a nice surprise plus we had an extra �60 to spend whilst away :o)

[pussnboots]

I agree with ~wingnut~ put the money as first agreed into their bank and give them a card with cash for their honeymoon.