WHen to tell him I have HPV?

[lmaria86]

I have recently started seeing a man, we're not exclusive, yet, and we havent had sex, yet. I have HPV and know that i will tell him. But when? I dont want to scare him, but he should have a chance to make up his mind about it and me. But when do I tell him? I dont want to wait until I really like him, just in case he cant accept my STD, but if he doesnt know me that well he will just run. Confused!

[dot.hawkes]

oh, so you have had sex with people that knew you had the condition? Were they being exclusive with you at the time?

[lmaria86]

as you can read above, i was in a monogomas relationship, he cheated on me. No I didnt forget, but thanks for askin

[Ms Random]

I said.....'Why don't you use a condom..............?'

[dot.hawkes]

mmm, I am sure there is a lesson to be learnt here for many people.

[lmaria86]

yes, they were, and we used a condom. But I told them on the second date, which threw them back, so i was wondering if there was a better time.

[Pippa68]

There but for the grace of God and all that...

Thank goodness I have always used condoms, well apart from when I was trying for babies!

Happy New Year, everybody :o)

[lmaria86]

i always use a condom. But wouldnt you want to know from the start?

[dot.hawkes]

God doesn;t make condoms, but i know what you mean

[Pippa68]

If you always use a condom how did you get hpv?

[Goodsoulette]

HPV can be transmitted with or wothout condoms. Condoms can lowers the risk but like a few other diseases, like herpes and crabs etc its not preventable by a long shot. Her body may become immune to the strain of HPV she has and never get an outbreak again and she may never ever pass it to anyone again but she needs to tell her partners that she has had it.


Tell him straight away Imaria, he may well run but then he's not right for you if he does.

[Slooow_Jo]

I was just wondering if I was right in thinking HPV is not prevented by use of condoms, so thanks for the A goodsoulette!!....theres so much confusion about these things that I think we all need more education!!

I don't recall any sexual health education at school but I hope its changing now, my eldest son has just started secondary school, but I will still tell him everything myself 'when the time is right'

we've already had the kiss talk which I foolishly hadn't expected for another few years LOL

Imaria.....I think you should be open with him before you are 'intimate', If you dont feel close enough to be truthful with him, chances are you're not close enough to be intimate!!
Good Luck x

[justasking]

I think you should wait until he does have feelings for you. It's obvously not your fault that you have it but if you tell him now and he doesn't have feelings for you, he could run. If you do happen to get intimate with him use a condom.

[feebal]

You seem to be getting a hard time from a few people on here and I'm not sure why. It's not your fault that you contracted this virus and you should be applauded for your consideration of others. If only your ex had been a bit more considerate you might not be in this situation.

Obviously you have to tell this new guy before you have any sort of sexual contact for your own conscience and if you want to have any kind of trusting relationship with him.

If you do decide to wait until you're more sure of his feelings for you just imagine what his reaction would be... That you were prepared to put his health at risk just to keep him... he's run a mile anyway. Tell him now and if he's worth it he'll hang around, if he's not then you're better off without him anyway.

PS ignore the 'perfect' people who are giving you a hard time, there but for the grace of god and all that ;)

[dot.hawkes]

I don;t agree with feebal that you can try to deflect the blame onto her ex. None of us are perfect but it is no good if you habitually do not take care of yourself, expecially when damage has already been done. It is not being judgemental it is showing commone sense.

[feebal]

I'm not deflecting the blame onto the ex, I'm saying that if you have an STD you should take the correct precautions and make sure any potential partners are informed. Imaria86 is doing that and so should be respected not judged.

Any yes, I think some people are being unfair and judgmental.

[Drisgirl]

O well for whats its worth I thought she got a very hard reception at the start but I thought she was maybe a known troll and kept out it.

As far as I am concerned her Q was perfectly lucid and I would say that you would have to tell/discusss with anyone youre dating in the reasonably early stages about this.You cant wait until you are becoming more intimate then spring it on him.

Godd Luck Hun -that is a bummer x

[Pippa68]

Please excuse my ignorance...but if condoms don't neccessarily prevent against HPV isn't it best that you don't have any intimate contact at all?

[legend758duo]

I sensed russia for some reason so didnt contribute.

[Pippa68]

You know what, leg..that didn't even occur to me.

For the first time in my AB life..lol.

[filthiestfis]

Tell him right before he is about to come inside you :P