WHen to tell him I have HPV?

[lmaria86]

I have recently started seeing a man, we're not exclusive, yet, and we havent had sex, yet. I have HPV and know that i will tell him. But when? I dont want to scare him, but he should have a chance to make up his mind about it and me. But when do I tell him? I dont want to wait until I really like him, just in case he cant accept my STD, but if he doesnt know me that well he will just run. Confused!

[dot.hawkes]

you mean you have an STD but are still not realising that not being 'exclusive' might be the reason?

[lmaria86]

By exclusive, i mean that we are not a couple. Im not having sex with anyone. Thanks for your very unhelpful question. hahaha

[dot.hawkes]

pardon my total understanding of the meaning of exclusive, what did you think it meant?

[lmaria86]

ok, by the phrase in my question "not exclusive" I meant that we arent having sex, just going out, having fun that kind of thing. Are you here to help or...

[dot.hawkes]

so when you eventually do become exclusive, what will you be excluding?

[lmaria86]

the other guys that im going out with. It makes sense to me to have several available men to go out with, pick who I connect with most and let the others go.

[Ms Random]

What is HPV?

I know what STD is, and recommend you get it treated before you encounter any sexual activity.

But is HPV something untreatable?

btw, we are all here to help.... but we can only help if you outline your problem correctly.

[dot.hawkes]

right, so none of these guys you are having any sexual relationships with? How long do you think you will need to play the fieild before you a certain which one to be exclusive with?

[Pippa68]

Here we go, Ms Random :o)

http://www.cancerhelp.org.uk/help/default.asp? page=5193

I understand dottys question ~ 'not exclusive' usually means you are having sex with others...

There is no 'right' time to tell him, but of course you should do it before you start a physical relationship. After all, you would expect the same courtesy, yes?

[dot.hawkes]

plus, as it seems a pertinent question, the person you caught the virus from, are they exclusive now too?

[lmaria86]

HPV is a skin disease, about 80% of the american population has it. There are over a hundred strands, some of which cause cancer, some cause warts, and some do nothing to you. Thats why the disease is so prominant, one can have the disease and pass it on but never show symptoms. There is no cure, i have the kind that causes warts. I have the warts removed, so you cant tell i have HPV, but since i can still pass it I want to make men aware of the fact that i do have it.

[lmaria86]

The preson I caught it from "didnt know he had it". We were engaged and he cheated on me. When i found out i had it, he told me he cheated i broke up wit him. Last I heard he was married, he shows no signs of the disease.

[dot.hawkes]

You have an unusual attitude to the situation, what kind of sexual health education do they offer in the states?

[Ms Random]

Why don't you use a condom until you feel the relationship is intimate enough to discuss sexual history?

[lmaria86]

Not sure what you mean by unusual, but we have classes from 5th grade (I was ten) until we graduate high school (17). But I have had the disease for 3 years, and have done some research on it (you would too).

[Pippa68]

The only 2 people I know who have had the pap virus ended up with cervical cancer ~ one of them also had vulval cancer which resulted in vulvectomy. Both have had hysterectomies.

Not nice.

[lmaria86]

I just feel like I should be open and honest about it

[cazzzz1975]

you picked a good time to start being open and honest

[dot.hawkes]

so from 17 to 18 what happened? Did you forget?

[lmaria86]

I always have been. I havent had sex with anyone that didnt know.