17 year old girl with 34 year old man

[kitesurfer]

there is a guy I know who is 34 and he is seeing a 17 year old girl. Her mum knows and is cool. But do you think this is right or wrong?

[cazzz1975]

depends on the individuals concerned.

[Lonnie]

If they are happy, shouldn't be a problem.

[Barmaid]

Well I met my husband when I was 17 and he was 30. Together for 15 years before we split.

[jno]

I can't see why it should be wrong, especially if her mother is okay with it. He won't always be twice her age.

[bednobs]

lol my first b/f when i was 17 was 33, and i really really didnt see anything wrong with it (when i was 18 i moved onto a 38 year old!)
so in summary - i think it is right, if it's right for both parties invlved.

am i to take from your post you don't think its right?

[kitesurfer]

no I just think long term it mat cause problems thats all. different views etc etc.

[wiggal]

It may cause a problem in the future, or the girl could be very much like me!
I was 17 when I met my fella, and although he was only 22 at the time, I was more then ready to settle down.

I have never been one for partying, clubbing or any of that kind of thing, and am now happily settled into life and love nothing more then quiet nights in with my fella!

I know its not the same age gap, but then not all 17 yr olds are out for drunken nights out and clubbing all the time!

[baileybird]

Hypocritical I know but OK in theory but can't say I would be happy if it were my daughter.

[Panic Button]

It depends on how they met - I hope there was no grooming involved!

[bednobs]

not all relationships have to be long term, nor do the participants necassarily want that. In the relationship i was talking about, we both knew it wasnt going to be a long term thing, neither of us wanted that, it was convenient at the time (well conveineient isnt the right word but you know what i mean)

[pinkkitty]

There's a 17 year age gap between my sister in law and her husband, and they get on ok. Though i've always thought their relationship was a bit odd, as when she was 5, he was 22 and was the leader of the local Beavers Group she went to. they started seeing each other she was 16, they married when she was 21, then she had 2 kids by him in quick succession. There's just something a bit creepy about it somehow.

[LoftyLottie]

No two people are alike, no two relationships are the same. Some people at 17 are very mature, others at 60 are totally immature. Age is definitely just a number. If the relationship works and they are happy (and obviously the girls parents are happy too) then I can see no problem.

[smudge]

There is an 18 year age gap between one of my 'much' older sisters & her husband.

She was just 18 & he was 36 when they married 55 years ago & they're still together!

Having said that, not many of us like him 'cos he's a creep, but she loves him, so that's all that matters to her!

[smudge]

He is now 91, but not quite ready to croak & she is still a very active, young at heart 73 old!

She takes care of him, inbetween running her own successful dog parlour business - I kid you not!

[Velvetee]

I'm always suspicious of men of that age who choose to date teenage girls! Anyway, I suppose if they like each other and have some common ground, then I guess it can work.

Perhaps it will last forever, but the liklihood is as she gets older and meets new people, she may grow apart from him. If I think back to the men I was attracted to at 17, the thought of still being with them now would turn my stomach.

I think her mother is doing the right thing, whether she is really happy about it or not. To try to drive them apart would only have the opposite effect.

[Robinia]

It's not for anyone to say whether it's right or wrong...why worry when it may not last. And why be suspicious of 'men of that age' velvetee? Maybe, just maybe, she's the one who's using him. Perhaps he has money, car, house etc that she finds attractive. Young women can be devious & calculating too.

[smudge]

Velvetee - way back in the early 50's, my Mum & Dad quietly hoped that my sister's relationship with her then boyfriend, would fizzle out in time - but as I say, they went on to marry & have been together ever since!

They've had a very fullfilled life together - have four children & lots of grandchildren - so who's to say?

[Velvetee]

What I mean Robina, 17 can still be classified as a child. He is a man nearing 40 and finds a "child" attractive. Sorry, but in my opinion, there is something strange there.

[smudge]

Crossed posts Velvetee....

[Robinia]

well he's no where near 40 at 34 is he? & he's probably nearer to 25 emotionally. As has already been said she may well be an old 17. Have you seen & listened to some of the 17 yr olds these days?