I am at my wits end

[dinkleboo]

I dont know why I have posted this question but I am furious and need to vent! I met my partner 2 years ago, and his parent hit the roof when they found out about me as I have 2 children, they told him he is wasting his life with someone like me and refered to me as a scumbag etc, this went on for a good few months until the relationship carried on and they realised we wasnt going to split up. They used to arrange dinner parties and invite my fella and not me, which wasquite hurtful. After 11 months they decided they were ready to meet me minus my children.....I went along with this for my partners sake and was polite etc, after approx 6 months they decided it was time to meet my children. The children were polite and respectable in there home, I couldnt have asked for better behaviour from them. We have been invited to other things and we have attended, but I find it frustrating when my little boy is sitting there fed up and the adults are all fighting for my partners nephews attention, it just really grates on me.

A month ago his sister got married and I was invited to the wedding without the children, I went BUT only for my partners sake, I really didnt want to go, but made a good effort to mingle and chat to people I didnt know, and everyone said how much they liked me to my fella. When it was time for the bride and groom to have pics taken, there was a family pic, which included the bride (his sister) n groom, her parents (my fellas mum n dad), the other sister and her husband, also my fella, minus me in the pic.....I was standing there like a lemon while people were looking at me like, why isnt she in the pic, infact I wasnt asked to be in any of the photos, that really was my last straw and since that I have gone with what I want and do not want anythin to do with his family ever again, they have made me an outcast for long enough and I cant tolerate it anymore, I wont do it to myself or my kids.

[tamborine]

His family dont approve of you and are trying to split up your relationship. Why do you want him around you, whats in it for you? He obviously wants his feet under your table - Y? Is it your cooking, cleaning etc & keep? Does he pay you? Is he worth having around and fighting his family for? Your kids dont seem too impressed and you're making your kids bend to your fellas family.

Firstly, break with his family & then break with him if he can't give you the attention you want. You have to be strong here. good luck.

[lil75]

Thankyou for ur aswers, they are very much appreciated, he just came back and anounced he was goin ou againto go round his sisters to watch a fight on tv, and told me he is going to watch football 2moro and also just called me a nasty horrible *** on his way out cos I was angry with his plans becuase it means I would have spent the whole weekend by myself. I am so livid im at boiling point!

[lil75]

Sod it ive just revealed who I really am, oh well, who cares ;o)

[LoftyLottie]

Oh dear. I personally wouldn't put up with any of this. He is completely immature for his age. I don't think you stand a chance of changing him. You will have to think very hard about whether you want this relationship to continue. You and your children would probably be far better off without him. You are still young - don't ruin your chances of improving life for both yourself and your kids.

Best wishes.

[lil75]

Thanks lofty lottie, trust me I have been thinking long and hard tonight, i feel as if he is walking all over me, I do say things but obviously not enough.....my friend saidto me tonight, I thnk he's what you want, but not what you need, I think she is right

[scotman]

You have known this person and his family for 2 years. You now know what they are all like. Choose what you want!

[EK111]

LOOK THIS IS TRICKY but its never going to change because he lets them get away with it, and if u ask him to do something about it, and he actually does, he will end up blaming u because it will be you that made things difficult for him.

ive been through this, but i dont have children. He should be ashamed of himself, letting his family react to the children in that way. You need to stop this and see how selfish he is being by 'trying to keep the piece' your kids are your angels and they should be his too enough to demand that his family gets to know them for who they are.

honeslty, get away and let a real man into ur life. its gna be hard but yea. and if u leave and get back with himn in the same year, forget it, things wont change. and ill tell u why, because you are really the one who iss allowing this to continue, ur letting him and his parents rule the roost. get rid of him.

[sacha.86]

would he be willing to his parents to stop mummying him?

[naomi24]

Just a thought, dinkleboo (or lil - I don't know which you prefer). Since he lived with his parents until moving in with you, the house you're in must be yours - in which case, kick him back to his ignorant parents. They'll no doubt be delighted to welcome him home - and you will have a chance to get your life - and your well deserved self-esteem back - which you're never going to do with him around.

As for him being what you want - whether he stays or not, that will change. There really are plenty more fish in the sea, so get your net out girl! You don't need him - and you can do better!

[sacha.86]

to ask*

[Sqad]

"I Know This Is The Wrong Section But I Need A Quick Response (Sun 08:37 27/Sep/09)
My partners family hated me at the beginning of our relationship purely for the fact that I had a child, however a year into the relationship and they decided they were ready to meet me, minus my"

We did this some weeks ago.

[sacha.86]

o sorry were not all as hard faced as u mizzybat

[Sqad]

mizzy....I only pointed out that we gave advice some weeks ago and the situation doesn't seem to have changed.

dinkleboo.....what is your question?

[naomi24]

Yes, I think there really are plenty more fish in the sea, Mizzy - at least that's been my experience. Apart from that, even if she thinks it unlikely she'll meet someone else, that's no reason to hang onto a complete loser, is it?