I'm convinced that my friend is gay

[heshe]

I'm convinced that my friend is gay, but he says he isn't. Are there any test i can do to see if he is? i know some people are camp and not gay, but he is more than that, he's never had a gay expirience (as far as i'm aware) but his personality just screams gay! He likes pretty much all the gay icons (music wise) he knows the words to nearly ever musical and he dances and sings when we're walking along (which can be very embarrassing). there is more but i don't like to ramble. help would be great, cheers.

[saffstar]

Oh well excuuuuse me! I really don't see how it's 'overly pc' not to give a toss who your mates choose to sleep with.  Good on him for trying to find out?  How the hell would you like being questioned about something that a) might not even apply to you or b) you'd rather keep private? Everyone's entitled to a private life. I really take offence to you accusing myself and others of stigmatising homosexuality by saying that it doesn't make a damn bit of difference to friendships - has it occured to you that the opinions stated above just might be honestly held, or that some of the answers might have been given by gay people - not middle-englanders fighting corners they don't stand in?  Talk about high horses - ever heard of people in glass houses? Rant over. Thank you.

[tigga]

He's mad as a Hatter but what does it matter ?

[TTFresh]

Saffstar: I put it there in writing, you could at least have let it digest before you started to gob off again.  How would I like it? I didn't mind it, not even when my Father weighed in.  I was, I have to admit, repeatedly questioned by a gay mate but that, to me at least, didn't make a difference (though I'm sure he just wanted to shag me).  He was my friend and so he had a right to know.  As for Private lives, every single close friend of mine has been affected by my private life and me by theirs - it's the nature of close friendships.

Yes to your answers I do beleive you hold these views honestly and that some gay people may hold similar views.  Perhaps handling people with kid gloves is something you extend to all?  smacks of over-compensation by way of positive discrimination and being a straight, white male in his mid-twenties I am sure to be excluded from this.

I remember when a close school friend decided he was straight - that caused as much of a stir as when other friends came out (though it made no difference to us) .  My opinions are merely based on what I know and what i've seen - not a eutopian dream.

You seem to have confused me with an ignorant anti-homosexual.  I am not.  

[Octavius]

Stop huffing and puffing with all your long rants.  My best friend at school confided in me that he was gay and we were both about 17 at the time.  It didn't make a difference to our friendship at the time and even opened up a whole new avenue of places to go and people to meet.  I had a fantastic social life!!

 

I am just glad that my friend felt he could confide in me and probably hoed that it woudn't change anything.  Well it did - for the better.

 

 

[Octavius]

Stop huffing and puffing with all your long rants.  My best friend at school confided in me that he was gay and we were both about 17 at the time.  It didn't make a difference to our friendship at the time and even opened up a whole new avenue of places to go and people to meet.  I had a fantastic social life!!

 

Obviously through the years of moving around and working we see less of each other, but we are still friends and meet occassionally.  I am just glad that my friend felt he could confide in me and probably hoped that it woudn't change anything.  Well it did - and there are no regrets for either of us.

 

 

 

 

[Octavius]

No why did that get submitted before I had finished?

[saffstar]

Once someone has been asked a question, and they have answered it (as the_barron stated in his question), I don't see how it can be 'over compensating by positive discrimination' to advise the questioner to let the matter drop.  

If he is gay, the_barron's friend will I'm sure tell his friends when he's good and ready - badgering him about his sexuality when he's already said he's not gay will surely just get on his nerves and spoil their friendship.

You seem to have confused me with a 'do-gooding, lefty, middle-englander'. I am not. Like you, I am simply speaking from my own experience.

[Yeah Bee]

Maybe it is you that are gay, and that is fine WE won't judge you

[Yeah Bee]

Did U find out or what

[Broadbander]

A "test" for gayness?  What planet are you on?  If he is gay, and decides to come out to you, you should consider it a great honour and privilege that he's taken you into his confidence.  It's bad enough having to come to terms with the fact that you're gay, and then to be "tested" by your so-called best friend.