Once a cheater and always a cheater and A Leopard never changes his spots

[Crazylegs]

I reckon this is bull, has anyone heard of or been with a cheater that cheated only once and never again?
Or maybe with a spouse beater that has raised their hand but never done it twice? Just for the record I am against spousal abuse and cheating but refuse to believe that everyone that is involved in this will *re offend again* Agree? Disagree?

[craft1948]

In my personal experience once a cheat, always a cheat.

[4getmenot]

I agree on the fact that cheating when a teenager can be changed as people grow up. I used to do it all the time. I dont know about being abusive. But I think everyone can change, through counselling, getting off drugs, stopping drinking etc

[ummmm]

I believe that a person might cheat in one relationship and not another. it all comes down to the relationship.....

[chelle7272]

I'm with greedyfly - in my experience the violent ones have never changed.

As an aside just wanted to say to ummmm what a lovely avatar :-)

[ummmm]

Thank you xx

[rowanwitch]

I didn't do faithful when I was younger.. probably would manage it now...if I was in a relationship... I think priorities change... I also had a vile temper when I was young too... I threw knives at my ex husband (among other things...lets say we never bothered buying nice china or glasses) and stuck a dinner fork in his thigh ... the temper too has pretty much faded with age....or I have become better at channelling anger in constructive ways...

[Greedyfly]

I thought I was bad Rowan =)

[rowanwitch]

Trust me I have really mellowed.... I was never evil in public though, then I was always the peacemaker if trouble brewed although I would use my vicious tongue to good effect if needed. Trouble Ex oh was sooo placid it used to wind me up a I was always a passionate firebrand....probably why I had my little flingettes too.

[Greedyfly]

My O/H Is very placid. Refuses to argue with me at any time. It doe irritate me at times as I need to let off steam often. I have an awful temper very similar to my fathers but as I have grown older it is no longer physical just words and slamming around. I am a nightmare, I admit. But he puts up with me =)

[Booldawg]

Is cheating genetic or situational? A friend of mine has not had sex with his wife for 7 years, but they do get on as a couple. He doesnt want to not be with her but has cheated several times and I cant blame him TBH. His wife has just 'gone off it'; she's not going to modify her behaviour as its not important to her - she's not missing out.

Would he have cheated if his wife put out regularly? I dont think so. Their is a huge difference between dispositional and situational behaviour. You cannot label or band them together as one type of mind-set and judge them as such.

[rowanwitch]

Exactly...my ex didn't want sex....for obvious reasons as it turned out...I was bored and curious... never allowed emotional involvement to get in the way though...that is when people get hurt

[RATTER15]

Joeluke, So no such thing as learning by ones mistake then? I think it is a load of nonsense!!

We unfortunately all make mistakes, I have never cheated on my wife or with my fiance, however I have made mistakes that I would never repeat.

You cant judge everybody by your own unfaithful habits Joeluke, we are not all like that fortunately.

[ummmm]

Don't waste your time typing RATTER....he won't listen...

My OH would never cheat or hit me. If it got to that point he'd sit me down and tell me if I carry on he's give me a slap/cheat....It won't get to that point...

That sounds bad....but if I was winding him up that much...he'd tell me..

I don't thin Joe knows what love is...

[ummmm]

*think

[joeluke]

Ratter

You've obviously never cheated because either

a) temptation has never come your way
or
b) you're a saint

Hot girl offers herself on a plate, what does a bloke do?

a) turn down sex with this hottie?
or
b) go for your life?

It's a no brainer

[boxtops]

Depends joe - guys with morals would say no. Not everyone thinks with their pants.

[joeluke]

Life's for living

[naomi24]

Maybe he never cheated because he never wanted to. Some people have the intelligence to make an informed choice rather than be guided by their misguided macho image of themselves.

[boxtops]

nicely put, naomi.

[naomi24]

Maybe some are one-timers, but I think generally once a cheat, always a cheat. Same with wife beaters - and liars. There's no cure.