very shy

[ilovemarkb]

How can i help my 15yr old son be more confident. Just been to his parents evening and all his teachers say he.s doing very well other than he is shy and lacks confidence. He excells in all sports particularly football but once again he lacks confidence and doest do much shouting for the ball. We,re hoping he gets kept on next year by the town football academy but think his more confident freinds might just pip him to the post even though technically my son is in the top 3 players. I so desperatly want to help him come out of his shell! thanks in anticipation
julie

[cazzz1975]

he may be just a shy boy, you cannot make him more outgoing unfortunately, he may become more outgoing as he gets older, instill him with confidence in himself, encourage him to speak up when he needs to, he probably agonises over this himself, teenage years are very delicate x

[poodicat]

Are you like him,mum or dad?

[237SJ]

I`m not an expert but I think shyness and lack of confidence are two different things. The shyness might be a personality trait, the lack of confidence less so and something can be done about that. I think I was shy as a teenager but I didn`t lack confidence when I did something I excelled at, I was just "quietly confident" which can have it`s advantages. Encourage him to keep up with the things he`s good at. Sorry, don`t want to preach! Good luck

[ilovemarkb]

thanks all! i would say im very confident and outgoing....but i didnt dare speak at school...his dad is quite a shy person though!

[4getmenot]

I used to be really shy at school, now you cant shut me up

[askyourgran]

I seem to remember that most 15 year old boys were just finding their feet at that age and tended to by shy in certain situations, but more outgoing when with their mates.
The talent spotters will choose the one that they consider the most talented, and training should bring him out of himself. It is a painful time watching your children grow up and hoping they will do well. All you can do is quietly give him your support.