Mistress - define

[hippyhoppy]

I'm a mousey blonde, 5 5, two kids .. I always thought a mistress would be an amazonian bonde with a 'champers for lunch' life style..

[B00]

I happen to think of a mistress as a sucker, probably in ever sense of the word too!

You're not loved, never will be, and probably neither is the wife if he's prepared to do this to her, the only thing he loves is that thing between his legs which is thinking out of.

Get some respect for yourself hippyhoppy.

[ummmm]

When I said kids lives 'you' could destroy...I take that back. It's him that's destroying peoples lives. You'll get the blame though.

[cazzz1975]

have to agree with the negative posters too Im afraid hippy, there is no happy ending and the more time you invest the more you will be hurt in the long run, not to mention the destruction that will be caused to this guys wife and kids who will be destroyed by this.

[Sqad]

Hippy my love,


Ah! The ever recurring mistress thread with, in the women’s corner…….let me see….yes the usual faithfuls , giving good but predictable opinions and batting for the men……….err Butch…..errrm….yes.

Where are the husbands? Working, think AB is not for them? With their mistress?

<<<Why do you want to be his second best?<<< sherardk, that is not always true.

How common is the mistress phenomenon? I have no idea but I would hazard a guess, more common than you might imagine and with women that you might never suspect in the role of mistress.
Look….just under 40% of marriages end up in divorce……how many might involve a “mistress?” For second marriages the failure rate is higher….how many mistresses are involved there?
The “mistress” as a concept is well established.

Can a man “love “ two women at the same time?.....of course he can.

Yes, the mistress may be alone at festive occasions and holidays….BUT,,,who would he rather be with and who is he thinking of?

Just to make it quite clear, these are not necessarily derived from personal experience, but just the jottings of a student perusing observations gained over many years.

This topic will clearly come up again with the same opinions from the same contributors, so I think that copy and paste might be applicable.

There are negatives to being a mistress...............and negatives to being a wife also.

Play the cards that you have been dealt, not the cards you feel you ought to have been dealt.

[B00]

sqad, some of us are looking at it slightly differently as well.

I had an affair, well several actually, when I was with my first husband, when I was very very young and equally as stupid, and looking back now im deeply ashamed at the hurt I caused my then husband. I wouldn't want to be the cause of that hurt again and I can't believe anyone else would want to do that to someone they profess to love either.

[Sqad]

BOO...I can understand that, but when one (male or female) enters into such an arrangement, sex and excitement predominates and by the time implications of your situation comes to the for, it is too late and anyway you feel that you do not want to change the status quo.

[Sqad]

C´mon Butch....I value your input into these threads and one doesn´t need to be a "stud" to have an opinion.

[B00]

Give over Butch, do you know who you're talking to? Doncha know Sqad is the Hugh Hefner of ABland?

Everywhere he goes wimin are hurling their underwear (only classy ones mind) at him and begging to be his mistress, whilst Mrs S sits at home knitting doilies (or whatever it is women knit nowadays) thanking her lucky stars that she bagged him first.

You're only jealous!

(apologies sqad, only messing- but you're still wrong!)

[Sqad]

BOO...;-)

[4getmenot]

I used to see a guy behind his girlfriends back, they split up, but he never committed to me, was a complete @rse and saw loads of girls when he was seeing me. That was years ago I saw the light and realised I deserved better.

[Sqad]

4get

<<That was years ago I saw the light and realised I deserved better.<<

You mean he dumped you ;-)

[jackthehat]

Always be well-presented; he won't want scruffy or comfortable - he can get that at home.
Always be cheery and care-free; he won't want anxious or distracted - he can get that at home.
Always be prepared to talk about him; he won't want anything else to be the focus of attention - he has to put up with that at home.
Always be ready for sex; he won't want to hear about your headache - why do you think he's playing away from home ?
Don't dwell too long on your children; why should he listen to you talk about yours when he's got his own at home ?
Don't get clingy; he's a man who likes to do what he wants when he wants - if only his wife understood that...........
Never make any arrangements for the two of you; sometimes, a chore though it is, he'll actually have to behave like a husband and father and *you'll* be the one getting side-lined.
Never make arrangements for yourself, alone; he'll expect you to alter them to accommodate him, or he'll suddenly become insanely jealous at the thought of you enjoying yourself without him.

You do realise that all this time you are investing in him will both nibble away at your self-esteem and prevent you from finding a single unencumbered chap with whom you can have a proper relationship ?

[Sqad]

Butch, forgive me......bit slow you know.
Is your post a statement or a question?

[sara3]

this isn't "batting for the men", it's having a bit of respect for someone else's marriage, Sqad.

not really your subject, I appreciate that.

[Sqad]

JTH.....excellent ;-)


<<<You do realise that all this time you are investing in him will both nibble away at your self-esteem and prevent you from finding a single unencumbered chap with whom you can have a proper relationship ?<<<

I wondered when "esteem" would surface, but I agree with your well written post, but that doesnt answer the question..."Why is being"a bit on the side" so popular?

[B00]

Because it's easy sqad?

What I mean is, I believe to be a mistress, the vast majority of women have low self esteem, thus making them easier to manipulate into an affair.