best way to deal with someone with an OCD...

[joko]

should you just go along with it, abiding by their wishes, not complaining etc

or confront it, show them its over the top and petty and go along with it but challenge it too

or just outright challenge it and refuse to do it?

(boyf is ocd about cleaning, but moans a lot about me washing up or wiping down mess or taking plates to the kitchen etc - he will say take your plate out the minute the last mouthful goes in...he watches me cook, huffing about and wiping and moving things into the sink etc, while im still cooking, wants me to wash up even one pan before i eat etc...generally just obsessed with the kitchen, and has a 'way' with everything)

at the moment i do the middle one... i do it but i do it my way and dont jump to orders and pull him up on them...i realise its not his 'fault' exactly but its quite tedious...

am i handling it correctly?

[woofgang]

No he doesn't assume everyone is like him, you said he moans at his flatmate. He must have met messy people at school, also what is his mum's like?

[China Doll]

I would challenge it at every second as it would drive me to distraction.... However I think I would find it more exhausting and think I would give up on that and probably the relationship in the long run. The man hostage is a very clean and tidy person and I'm a bit of a trog but he doesn't get huffy about how I do things and if I did cook and he was bothering me, I'd tell him to get out or do it himself, because he doesn't actually have OCD, he'd be fine with that. Have you tried that sort of approach and seen what happens? That would maybe give more of an idea as to whether he's just extremely anal and can accept change.

[carlton23]

society...I hope you are not a nurse....patience surely, not patients.

[DaisyNonna]

He is not likely to change. Can you? If not, please walk away now.

[joko]

no, i said he doesnt moan at his flat mate. he assumes MOST people are like him...

he moved into this flat with this guy shortly after meeting me...before that he lived alone and just did stuff his own way.

his mums is spotless to the point of showhome...

he mostly just tidies, hoovers and huffs about the kitchen and bathroom...he also sniffs things, rearranges stuff a lot, very petty mostly, and he gets agitated if there is something out of place, or on show when it should be in the draw...

mostly i do tell him to go away and moans back...he goes away after eventually but still comes and hovers and checks, and does it the next time too...

i already have changed to accomodate him... im much tidier and do what he asks etc...but he still has the idea that i wont do things he asks...its like hes blind to it..its like its on his mind all the time...

[ummmm]

I think he sound quite normal...