Without anybody stating the obvious.......

[Smowball]

Ok, helpful answers only please? I know for a fact that my OH has been lying to me about something (no, not a woman!) but I've found out myself by looking at something I shouldn't have. So how can I broach the subject without looking a hypocrite??

[Sqad]

Ah! So although you needed the money as a couple, he was supporting his daughter financially and knew that you would not have agreed.

Dificult problem for him.

[Smowball]

I'm very bad at confrontation. Even when I'm in the right I end up apologising, I just cant stand arguments.

[ummmm]

Sqad....Smowball hasn't mentioned what other financial arrangements are in place for his daughter. The daughter is 11....

[nannybooby]

Snowball you cant just let it slide, have you asked if his daughter knows whats going on.Is it savings for a school trip or such?

[mumsie_wumsie]

Definetely something not right going on here, you need to get it sorted ASAP.Why would he need to put large amounts of money into an 11 year olds bank account. Does the money show as being withdrawn at all (on the statements you have seen). Could he be paying his ex money by doing this? Just suggestions, but possibilities. Hope you get it sorted soon.

[Sqad]

ummmm...quite.......so what are you getting at?

[Smowball]

No. none of the money has been taken out. Funnily enough nannybody, when I saw the last statement and he said he didnt know what it was, I said "oh, I thought she may have had a school trip coming up that you had to pay for" and he said no.

[BAKERS DOZEN]

Is it possible he's gambling and "hiding" his winnings in your daughter's account or could he be saving up for a surprise for you.

[Frank97]

He might just be saving up to buy you a christmas present.

[Sqad]

BAKERS DOZEN..?.LOL...well it certainly WAS a surprise.

[Smowball]

TBH BakersDozen, I really dont know what to think anymore. Once somebody lies to you then it is very hard to believe anything that they say.

[ummmm]

<ummmm...quite.......so what are you getting at?>

By the tone of your post *So although you needed the money as a couple, he was supporting his daughter financially and knew that you would not have agreed.* made it sound as if smowball wasn't happy about him supporting his daughter...

That's what I'm getting at.!

[Sqad]

ummmm.then you are quite correct and Snowball
Has had the chance to refute this.........and she hasn't.

[nannybooby]

Snowball you have to sort this out you'll go round the bend if you dont.What if she does take all the money out and blows it ? or gives it to her mum?

[sara3]

I'd just have the open statement on the table when he gets home and say "what's this, then?"

who has been more deceitful?

[ummmm]

Yes she has...he's putting in money to an 11 year olds account and it's not being withdrawn. It's hardly maintenance is it?

[ummmm]

I would do as Sara says...