Without anybody stating the obvious.......

[Smowball]

Ok, helpful answers only please? I know for a fact that my OH has been lying to me about something (no, not a woman!) but I've found out myself by looking at something I shouldn't have. So how can I broach the subject without looking a hypocrite??

[nannybooby]

have to agree with Sara its what I would do

[Smowball]

i have no problem at all with him supporting his daughter - in fact WE pay her mother monthly maintenance out of OUR bank and WE pay her a monthly allowance out of OUR bank again. This money makes no sense.

[Sqad]

ummmm?.you may well be correct, but I cannot see any post from snowball saying that she would not have objected to OH (hate thet term) donating money to his daughter.

Can you?

[ummmm]

Her last answer Sqad...

[Smowball]

Sqad, sorry but its hard to keep up with every answer. No he can and does give his daughter money whenever he wants with no objection from me, and can buy her what he likes, and does.

[Sqad]

ummm/snowball......fine.....my point is invalid.

[factor-fiction]

So is the issue not that he's giving her money but that he is lying about it?

[mumsie_wumsie]

How long has this been going on for? Do you know? If the money isn't being withdrawn at all, then the balance must be quite high. Would it perhaps be money your OH is putting in for her, for when she reaches adulthood, and so has a good financial start in life??

[ummmm]

And what about the son? Why isn't he getting money? I'd be spewing...

[mazie]

Or money he's trying to hide from you Smowball? Why would he do that?

[Smowball]

I mentioned last year about putting money away for both of our children for the future and he said that we couldnt afford to do that yet, but would some day, so if he has secretly started that for his own daughter but not for my son then that would be a bit unfair. The money has been going in their for about 5 months now, and there is no logical reason why he would have started that when we were struggling, if thats what it is for.

[ummmm]

It's more than a little bit unfair.

How is he putting money into the account he transfers it from?

[mazie]

Perhaps he's paying cash straight into his Daughters account ummmm, in which case it won't show up in any other account ?

[Sqad]

"I mentioned last year about putting money away for both of our children for the future and he said that we couldnt afford to do that yet, but would some day, so if he has secretly started that for his own daughter but not for my son"

So you WOULD have been annoyed if he had told you that he was sa ing for his own daughter.

[ummmm]

For goodness sake Sqad. They share their finances...the children should be treated the same!!!!

[Sqad]

ummm...for goodness sake...that's not my point....forget it.

[Smowball]

Exactly ummm. I had no idea about this other account, but its in his sole name and thats where this money is coming from. Where it originally comes from I have no idea!

[mazie]

How long have you and the OH been together Smowball?