what to do when the message isnt getting through?!?

[lourules]

Ive been with my new bloke 4 months. we moved in together last week. his rent was too expensive and my lease was up at my old house so we both had to move. we signed for the rent 6 weeks ago and thats when it turned a little sour. i felt he was a bit of a sap, always crying, weird case of OCD, bugging me with questions all the time, smothering me (at work 11 hours a day hadnt even got through the door when hes there trying to hug me!) no friends or hobbies so just works comes home and thats it! I want him to leave. Ive told him im not happy and it wont work, i just want to be friends and for him to live somewhere else but he seems to take it that im joking!!!!! we dont kiss or sleep together or nothing! How can i get across to him to leave? without totally destroying him? I just want to live on my own and be single but its proving to be a bad thing!!!!

[bednobs]

why don't you move out?

[B00]

Have you actually told him you want him to leave? Why don't you leave if it's that bad?

And there's something to be said before waiting to see if a relationships gonna work before moving into together isnt there! LOL. Four months seriously? Wow!

[lourules]

because its all mine i paid for all the stuff inside it, moved to the area purposely to be closer to my work etc...

[karenmac60]

It's only been a week. Why not try talking to him about the problems and trying to sort them rather than just walking away? Maybe you have rushed things, but shouldn't you try at least a little to work it out - after all, you felt enough 6 weeks ago to want to live with him. If you do choose to give up though, you have to be prepared for fallout. You can't do that to someone and expect them to just say ok and go. He'll be hurt and angry and you'll feel bad. That's what happens, you can't get off scot free.

[grasscarp]

You have made a mistake and the sooner you sort it the better. Actions speak louder than words so you have to get out. If you have signed up for this place together you cant just make him go, and if he thinks you can be won round he will never agree to that. Make other arrangements for your own place to live since you have now decided you want to be alone. This will probably be messy but the longer you leave it the harder it will be. You can always lie about your reasons and as you have only been together for 4 months he cant know so much about you that he will catch you out.

[bednobs]

well stuff can be taken out, and i presume there are other places in the area? (otherwise, where do you expect him to go?)

[Zacs-Master]

Change the locks and tell him to go back to his mother.

[bednobs]

you can't change the locks on a place you have rented together.

[lourules]

zac ive done that xx

[NOX]

Ouch- it's been a week. If he p1sses you off tell him he's being too clingy, too obsessive- whatever it is that's ticking you off, but you can't in the really real big grown up world move in with someone (presumeably because you love them?) and the a week later think ' ya know what, feck it he's really annoying, sling yer hook'. Don't you think you should at least talk about it all first?

[lourules]

we talked about it 2 weeks ago and he just kept saying it will all be ok and it isnt

[bednobs]

then why did you move in together a week ago if you told him 2 weeks ago you didn't want to be with him? Can he afford the rent on his own? Can you?

[ummmm]

Who is named on the tenancy agreement?

[lourules]

because the lease was signed. and i had to move i had no where to go and he was the same

[NOX]

2 weeks ago, you said you'd only lived together for 1 week, even so it's not much time, you just seem to want out come hell or high water tbh.

[lourules]

weve both signed the agreement its a month by month contract

[NOX]

Well looks like you've got a housemate then whether you like it or not. Why should he move out because you've changed your mind. you'll just have to share and deal with each other.

[bednobs]

why is it any different now then? you both have no-where else to go = you stay there

[lourules]

yeah we talked about it on the phone 2 weeks ago

[B00]

So can we assume he still has nowhere to go? Where do you expect him to go because you've changed your mind about the whole thing?

I feel sorry for the guy to be honest! You just sound mean.