Relationship Help Pleeeease!! Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

[escapologist]

Hi all, just wanted to rant about my current situation and opinions would be much appreciated. I've been with a guy for about 3 years. We live together and I love him, but I can't get over things that happened 2 years ago. Basically I moved to another city with him to find out he had been messaging his ex saying he's not over her and was planning to meet up with her. Not just that but I found out he had a few profiles online looking for casual relationships. Ive tried to get over it but I think about it every day. He doesn't tell me he loves me and I get the impression he doesn't like me near him most of the time. My family are really disappointed on me for "wasting my time" with him. I'm absolutely terrified to make the decision though. He doesn't work and he's an alcoholic and I feel guilty if I end it and tell him to leave. ALSO. I have a guy friend who I've known a long time. Recently he's made clear that he has strong feelings for me. We have met up for meals a few times and I can't explain how he makes me feel. I feel guilty for feeling like this but can't stop thinking about how happy I would be with him instead. The guilt is killing me but the guilt of leaving my boyfriend hurts too. I don't know what to do but any advice would be amazing. Thanks

[Dee Sa]

go girl go ! don't listen to the begging and the pleading life is very convenient for him now, especially if he is just drinking away his problems, be brave tell him you never got over his betrayal, its time to get out in the wide wide world by yourself he is making you miserable and life is about being happy, any new relationships should be taken slowly don't jump out of the frying pan into the fire.

[Old_Geezer]

Based on you OP it seems your present relationship has foundered and does not look as if it is likely to be repairable with effort. It isn't what you want for all the rest of your life, so you have to take a deep breath and change it.

Finish one relationship and get a bit of breathing space before considering another. Friends are fine but more than that when emotionally vulnerable is risky.

(And I notice you last sentence says you feel guilty if you stay and guilty if you go. So it has no real influence anyway then. I suspect you know what you should do, and are just looking for someone to tell you it is ok.)

[Booldawg]

you know what to do already. This post is more about seeking moral support rather than advice. Have confidence in your decision and follow it through.

[murraymints]

JUMP.....NOW !!

[ummmm]

Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship. Once that has gone it's the end...imo.

[joeluke]

1. messaged his ex saying he's not over her and was planning to meet up with her.
2. had a few profiles online looking for casual relationships.
3. doesn't tell you he loves you
4. you get the impression he doesn't like you near him most of the time.
5. he doesn't work
6. he's an alcoholic

Some people can't see the wood for the trees

[jourdain2]

Adding to the unanimity - get out while you can do so fairly easily, but don't act 'on the rebound'.

[grasscarp]

you know the answer escapologist. everything you write screams - this is over. Breaking up is harder if you live with someone I imagine. I didnt live with anyone except my husband before we were married. So never had to do this myself. Good luck for the future.

[joeluke]

When I left my 1st Mrs I just came home from work, told her I was leaving her, packed a few essentials and walked out the door

It's no good pussyfooting around, just get it over with PDQ