I Have Given Everything

[silka]

I teach a small class of Seniors every Monday morning, for two hours. I only charge £1, any photo copies I charge 10p a copy. I normally put on a little continental spread at Xmas free of charge. I am a very giving, kind person.
I have been doing this for 3 years now, and have really enjoyed it. Now I feel I am being taken avantage of, and realise everyone is not as kind as I am.
Some of us have gone to night school and know what the charges are there.
I am not looking to make a profit, but a show of their gratitude would be nice.
I put a lot of my time and effort into it and they never offer any help with the coffee or anything else, they expect me to do everything. I think I may close as it is starting to get me down, what do you think ?

[silka]

No it hasnt I speak my mind as normal and not to be messed with, it is just, I enjoyed the class as much as them, but realise they are taking me for a ride

[Maydup]

Its quite possible they have no idea what you expect of them and do indeed take you and your hospitality for granted. But its all voluntary and they pay £1 for their tea and coffee. You might need to be clear with yourself, what it is you want them to do.

Personally I'd be mortified if I went along, paid my £1 and then realised I was expected to take a gift too, or to take the host out for dinner but no-one had told me that.

[smoneybags]

Doesn't your local U3A committee offer support? Ours doesn't encourage people to offer classes in their own homes for this very reason.

[smoneybags]

Doesn't your local U3A committee offer support? Ours doesn't encourage people to offer classes in their own homes for this very reason.

[Cool-Chilli]

Charitable giving should be unseen and achieve its own reward. Those who are uncharitable to you should only enforce your drive to continue for those who appreciate what you are doing. Try and remember your original motives for doing what you are doing.

[Retrochic]

well I think woofgang has hit the nail on the head. If you are doing this as a volunteer maybe the clue is in the 'volunteer' bit. I voluntee rfor our local meals on wheels once in a while - I don't moan because I'm taken advantage of because I don't get paid!!

[Retrochic]

silka how are they 'taking you for a ride?' They are paying the price you have set -you, not them- they are drinking your coffee without payment because you have not set a small price for coffee and they are coming to your Christmas party free of charge because you invite them free of charge. I honestly can't see your problem. they are not taking advantage at all and if you spoke to them they would probably be quite happy to contribute some more.

[curlyperm11]

Totally agree with Woofgang!!
Surely charity work is done because you want to do it from the heart.....not for the recognition?
There is a saying. "What you allow, is what will continue!"

[anneasquith]

just stop doing it !!!!!!!!

[silka]

U3A do not offer any support at all, they used to give out copies free but they now have stopped that.

[maggiebee]

If you feel you are being taken for granted, just walk away. You're a volunteer and obviously fed up with it.

[ubasses]

The ethos of the u3a is that it is a mutual aid organisation and these people are probably giving back something to others in another way. ie may be giving lessons or contributing in some other way. That is the reason it may not have crossed their minds to contribute in your class. If it is a problem to you, talk to them, odds on they would be mortified that you feel this way.

[dunnitall]

I think you may disillusioned silka and that's why you asked the question. Perhaps it's time to call it a day, why continue if you feel like you do. Perhaps mention it to the group, say you are thinking of giving up and if asked why...tell them and see the reaction. I think you have plenty of sensible and helpful replies here...pick the one which suits you and go by it. Are you depressed in anyway if you don't mind my asking?

[silka]

dunnitail no I am not depressed, they do not do anything else in the U3A

[silliemillie]

Weather you do it for good pay or voluntary it's always nice to be appreciated.

[shaneystar2]

I think they're taking you for granted .You seem like a nice person, your heart is in the right place . I wouldn't dream of going to someones house on a regular basis,for whatever reason , without at least offering to help clear up afterwards or at least bring something for people to share,if it was only a packet of biscuits .
If it's getting you down ,speak up and tell them how you feel .Don't be a shrinking violet :)

[silka]

Shaney star, I was brought up to offer help when I visited someone (with the dishes etc, only good manners) and say please and thank you, I was also taught to share, and not be greedy

[-Talbot-]

How difficult is it to make 4/5 coffees and then wash cups?

[silka]

Are you for real ?

[silka]

I do two hours prep and homework for them as well as the lesson and everything else