I Have Given Everything

[silka]

I teach a small class of Seniors every Monday morning, for two hours. I only charge £1, any photo copies I charge 10p a copy. I normally put on a little continental spread at Xmas free of charge. I am a very giving, kind person.
I have been doing this for 3 years now, and have really enjoyed it. Now I feel I am being taken avantage of, and realise everyone is not as kind as I am.
Some of us have gone to night school and know what the charges are there.
I am not looking to make a profit, but a show of their gratitude would be nice.
I put a lot of my time and effort into it and they never offer any help with the coffee or anything else, they expect me to do everything. I think I may close as it is starting to get me down, what do you think ?

[-Talbot-]

I do two hours prep and homework for them


And how are they supposed to help with that?

[silka]

Read what I wrote, before you comment

[Retrochic]

sorry but the more I think about this I 'm of the impression you really are not 'volunteer' material. If you want to teach for real then apply at a college and get a wage. You are obviously not happy so just stop the volunteering.

[silka]

I have 4 volunteer jobs, you do not know me, I am retired and I have qualifications.

[-Talbot-]

Then just carry on with the 3 you enjoy?

[boxtops]

I volunteer too, and I can see how something which started with a lot of goodwill has grown over the years into an obligation. Do you feel that you know your class quite well now? - if so, surely you can broach the subject to them? I have a voluntary meeting in my house every couple of months - I offered my house, so I make coffee that evening for every and chuck in a few biscuits - but if a snack was involved, or a Christmas do, I'd certainly be asking them to bring something!

[silka]

Hi Boxtops, we are not friends, but get on quite well, not sure how to broach the subject really.

[woofgang]

Tell them you are sorry but other commitments mean that you can no longer run the group.

[boxtops]

Perhaps you could not mention that there even might be a Christmas do this year, wait for them to mention it, and then ask if we could do something different this year (i.e. they bring the food). The person who took stuff home last year really did "take the biscuit" - I wouldn't have let her!

[silka]

I actually did say to them last week that I would not be doing the food at Xmas this year, and if anyone else wanted to do it ..............

[anneasquith]

silka, what would be your idea/wish for a better experience for you ?

[silka]

Anne just for them to appreciate me more, I live alone and money is not plentiful, I know they love to come along (who wouldnt)? We have gone out, for a xmas lunch at my suggestion , for the last two years, and it would be nice if they offered to buy me a drink.

[anneasquith]

how many people come to your class ?

[silka]

Five

[jno]

you're in control of your own destiny here. You can decide what you want to do. If you enjoy things as they are, continue. If you don't, you can stop. Or you can fiddle with the details - raise the charges, for instance. (People often don't vaue what they get for free.)

What you can't do is control other people's actions, only your own.

[curlyperm11]

The more i read of this the more i think. 'Poor me, poor me'
You quote "i know they love to come along (who wouldnt) its like...you do something (out of the goodness of your heart (supposedly) but .....BUT....if you dont get recognition....your peed off?
I for one...would find our meetings toooo stressful to attend, i imagine they can pick up on the bitter vibes.....i bet you can cut the atmosphere with a knife!

Dont mean to be harsh....but you just sound soooo victimised!
My advice. (Not requested, but im giving it anyway). Head for the hills! Get outta there! Voluntary work is not for you!!

[silka]

You have got it so wrong curley perm, I we all have a great laugh and probably that is another reason they all stick around

[tamaris]

This lady is neither a victim or anything else as some of you put it. she obviously has a heart of gold, pity there were not more like her around, you are doing a wonderful job silka.

[Old_Geezer]

Whilst we all like to feel we are appreciated I'm unsure one can guarantee those who need help will show it to our satisfaction. Ideally it isn't why one chooses to volunteer help, but something that is nice to have. If you find it hurtful you don't detect gratitude then you are not obliged to continue. As others have pointed out, you can stop. Despite your denials the only reason you have given for this thread is that you feel hard done by in that you feel others should be more overtly appreciative. Well ok, if you aren't happy, then offer your good work elsewhere, somewhere where you may feel you are getting something out of it.

[seanne]

What a kind lady, I have spent so much money over the years learning a language, and this lady does all this for £1 a week, a little kindness back to her should be a given. There are so many selfless people who go unnoticed in life. She has done it for 3 years, and hardly a thank you has been given, one of them in the group should have by now suggested to the others that they take her for lunch or put on a little spread for her or such like. People can be so thoughtless and tight.Very often kindness is taken for weakness in life.