OBSSESSED! what can i do?

[bobbikay]

okay, i was having family problems last winter, so i moved in with my friend's(we'll call her katie) family. while i was there, i started REALLY liking her brother(we'll call him kyle). we didn't do anything while i lived there, but after i moved back home, me and him started dating and had a lot of fun together :) but then he got his hair cut and i got mad. i went and cheated on kyle with this REALLY hot guy(we'll call him chuck). anyway, i didn't see kyle much after this. (me and chuck almost started dating, but it turned out he was a complete a$$hole) and kyle said he was gonna kick the sh!t out of chuck(yes, they know each other well). okay, so it's been almost half a year, and i hadn't thought about it much, but now i realize i'm still not over kyle! and katie moved to her bf's house far away, and just so i could hear kyle's voice i called his house and asked wut number i could reach katie at. i thought kyle would be mad at me for calling, but he sounded really happy and went to ten minutes trouble to find the number for me. i really wanna see him again and i think he might still like me. he has a great personality too. but how can i tell him how i feel or ask him to hang out sometime? i'm sooo scared of rejection! and without katie there, i have no excuse to call again! aaaah!!! what can i do? i'm so obssessed! :(

[China Doll]

Sometimes something you can't have becomes an obsession as the feelings intensify. However if you were to get what you wanted there is the risk that the intensity of the feeling is lost and actually you realise you never wanted it that much afterall.

I would like to point out that ten minutes looking for a number is not really a lot of hassle so don't pin all your hopes on that Tiddler.

Basically Bobbi you are going to just have to bite the bullet and call him again and ask if he'd like to go out sometime. Keep it light and casual. Say something like 'it was good catching up with you the other day, fancy going for a coffee sometime?'

If you want it that much you'll take the risk. Otherwise just enjoy the feeling of having a crush on someone. Good luck xx

[Carby]

Basically you don't deserve him because you got mad and cheated just because he cut his hair.

[MrBen5]

I agree with Carby, you dont deserve this guy. You cheated and you should have to suffer now. the fact that he doesnt mad at you, doesnt mean he has forgiven you. I hope he takes you back and uses you and then bags you off, as that is what you deserve...

[China Doll]

The author of this thread appears to be a teenager.

With this in mind Carby and Mr Ben I suspect your answers are a little harsh.

[MrBen5]

Oh, ok. sorry China Doll. I cant see how old people are on here :(

I thought she was at least your age, as she writes similar to you :)

[boro1986]

I suggest u get a grip remember u cheated not him so if i was him i would have nothing to do with you or them again sleep with you get dressed then throw u a fiver for it

[jno]

some apologies to Kyle might be in order, and hopefully you've got past the stage where you cheat on someone over their haircut. If so, just ring him up as China Doll suggested, say you're sorry about what happened before and you'd like to see him again and apologise, and how about some coffee... but don't be too hurt or astonished if he says no; he might feel once bitten twice shy, and you'll have to respect that.

[JackDanielsU]

You got mad as he had his hair cut, so you went and had sex with a friend of his

Crazy...thats all I can say. What would be next...he has a ring tone you dont like, so you go and hook up with his brother!?!?

As other people have rightly said, you're lucky hes even talking to you pleasantly.
Bite the bullet, ring him up, do what teenagers do... mumble and whatever, you know, down the phone at him, and ask if he wants to hang out in town, or whatever.

Worse he can say is "No"...and a few choice expletives

[noxlumos]

hi bobbikay, weren't you the one whose had a lot of trouble at home and posted that rather nasty "sick of s1uts" thread?
All that aside, if you like Kyle then just call him and say that speaking to him re katie's number the other day made you realise that you really misssed him both as a friend and as more and that you'd like to recapture some of that and invite him for coffee or something, whatever you do.
You then won't feel humiliated if he's not intereswted as you've not thrown yourself at him, but please do try to act a little more grow up than having sex with someone bc the guy dared to get his own hair cut. You don't own anyone but yourself, and happy people realise that.
Hope it all goes well for you.

[China Doll]

Is it only me that thinks Bobbi is a teenager? (And an american one at that). And because I think that I also think that when she says 'cheat' I think she actually means 'kiss.'

Not once did it occur to me that she might have slept with Chuckles. She doesn't say she did in her question.

Or am I niaive??

[ummmm]

That was a bit harsh boro!!

[boro1986]

Not at all Ummmm put yourself in what ever name he is shoes thats what i would do

[ummmm]

I couldn't answer when I first read the question because it was just too funny. He cut his hair!!!! I would have said something really sarcastic then get slated by everyone.

must be worth at least a tenner!!



Joking.....

[joko]

he probably spoke nicely to you because by now he'll have realised that a girl who cheats because i dare to cut my own hair is a girl not worth worrying about.

it probably took 10 minutes to find the number because he was probably trying to decide whether or not to give it to you - or even calling his sis to see if she wanted you to have it...how many brothers don't know their sisters phone number, or at least have it to hand? you think he hasn't spoken to her in 6 months?
and if you hadn't spoken to her for 6 months he may have thought she may not want to hear from you.

[noxlumos]

hi China , yeah she is a teenager, 18 I believe , and I'm assuming from the names that she's American, so yes there is going to be more naievity than most British kids oweing to cultural differences, but she's not shy at clobbering other people ( see her "sick of s7uts" thread) and if she going to grow up ever and form decent relationships then whether she kissed him or slept with him is really niether here nor there, it's the fact that it was in retaliation about having his hair cut! She seems to have had a miserable time and we all do things when we were young that we can't understand later but she's old enough I think to start acting as though she means business and not in a way that'sonly going to bring her more upset. I wasn't hard on her was I? I thought I was quite pleasant.

[China Doll]

Ello ello Noxy,

Not particularly harsh no. I think there's worse on here. Although I think you jumped to the conclusion that 'cheated' equaled 'sex' which suprised me as you're usually a bit more savvy than that m'dear.

I just think that Bobbi's come in for a lot of criticism here from people twice her age, seems a little unfair to me. Whether what she did is right or wrong is neither here nor there, it wasn't the question. I know when you put something up on the WWW you open yourself up to everyones opinion but as I say, her pixels appear to be that of a kid.

I think she's old enough to make a phone call and start to act like she means and knows what she wants I agree with you. But she's still young enough (pixely speaking) to not have the pitchforks chucked at her without a pixel help from someone else.

Or maybe I'm just going soft... don't tell anyone ;0)

[noxlumos]

Your secrets safe with me China :)

[ummmm]

Some of her posts are mental....c'mon

[caz247]

if my memory is as good as i think
sheis 17ish depending on the problem
and from Canada

caz x


ps. the last time nox and i gave her the same advice
she told us where to go lol

[ummmm]

You got it caz!!!!

She had a go at us for trying to give her advice......but she's back for some more! from us!