Complicated relationship, pregnancy, and I'm scared for me

[chimpanzee]

I wrote a post a while ago, it's just got so much more worse. I really need your help.

See below...

[redcrx]

how can you say hes perfect and makes you feel 'special, loved and wanted' when he will sit there and watch you get hit by his girlfriend? can you not see that that is not the way a loving and suitable partner would behave.

You have to find some self respect, if not for yourself then for your children. Do you really want your daughter to see you putting up with such rubbish in the future, what will she learn from that?? BE STRONG, move on, dont let him use you and prove to everyone that youre not going to be used by him. he is just using you for sex and a bit on the side. He lives with his girlfriend and if shes mad enough to put up with it then thats her problem.

[Reverandfunk]

Heaven help us all......

[4getmenot]

I'm not even getting into this one. Its confused me too much already

[nannon]

just watch eastenders - sorry but its too similar...just so happens that she cant have kids - shes onnly 21 - it seems a bit unusual for someonw that age to know i guess.... Basically i think that you;ve slept with someone elsed boyfriends and now you've been caught out and you don;t know what to do - he's not going ot leave her - he already would have if he wanted too. he's what you call a player -and they are the always the ones that make you feel special, the ones you loe more than anyone the one yhou cant let go off, the one you think is perfect in every way...apart from the girlfriend. he'll only do the same to you anyway. they lways do - not even a child will change them. Its really harsh and hurts like hell but thats that really. You have two children now - its time maybe to just think of them and you - dont let any more men in your door until you happy and contented with what you have already. Which is a lot.

[nannon]

please excuse my typing - am in work and am rushing in case i'm caught!! lol!

[redhead23]

you are silly , how can it make u feel speacial that he lives with another girl - shares her bed - wakes up with her , eats with her , and you think this is a good relationship

you know what

this guy knows ur vunerable , probaly never felt loved by anyone and has taken advANTAGE

I WISH THIS IS A WIND UP BUT I SUSPECT NOT

ANSWER ME THIS - IF THIS WAS ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IN THIS SITUATION U WOULD SAY SORT IT OUT WOULDNT YOU

YOUSHOULD START LOVING YOURSELF
YOUR LOW SELF ESTEEM IS TERRIBLE IM 23 , MEN WILL SLEEP WITH ANTHING , IF ITS AVAILABLE ,

U THINK SEX MEANS LOVE IT DOES NOT HE IS USING YOU AND UR BABY WILL BE ANOTHER SAD STASTIC OF A CHILD WITH A DEAD BEAT FATHER

[bensmum]

I feel for you here but you have to get out of this and soon. Even if you love this guy and he leaves his girlfriend to be with you what's to stop him doing the same to you in the future. He's on a big ego trip and you're feeding the ego. Think past what you feel now and consider the effect this may have on your daughter. It will be hard but try to sort out the practical details and also get some help for the depression - you can come out of this stronger. Take care XX

[lilacben]

Where are all your friends in this?? I cannot imagine you havent told them all this. You are looking to us for answers but you know it already, deep down.
I am sorry but we can only give you words you have to make the choice to move on. And that is what you have to do. For everyone's sake. yours, your little girl and the new baby.
Don't let this "man" in the front door and back into your life,every again.!! you have to be strong. You have made it too easy for him to come and go as he pleases.
Show him you are a person not to be mucked about with anymore.Not a doormat.
Get your friends around you and get on with your life, NOW.!!!!!!!!!!

[I_Tried]

Hiya Chimp,

I will write the wrods you wanna hear, I think because you are so in love with this guy you shouldn't give up on him, in fact I think you should wait for him every night crying tears of sorrow when he is bonking with this other girl, I think you should tell your unborn child when he/she is old enuff that you used to love his/her dad so much that you used to pay more attention to him than the fact that he was using you to make his ego feel good.

There I approve of waht you do happy now.

Chimps grow up you are 21yrs old you are nrly a mum of two you have a whole life ahead of you, dump this ******, sort your ehad out and find a fella who will want you for you not for an easy lay.

Just imagine when you are abit older and he thinks Hmm don't fancy that any more time to move on what will you do then cry over him again and yearn for him whn right now you can cut his "i want you for sex" umbilical chord and make yourself a life thats proud to live rather than come out with stupid comments like if it werent for the babies i would top myself.

Chimp you need to do it and only you can do it no-one else get shut before the baggage becomes to heavy and burdensome.

Mr T. A crazy fool

[chimpanzee]

I think it's hit me. I think I see that he doesn't really love me and my heart is breaking.

This afternoon I got violent pains in my stomach, I was so scared I was losing the baby. I'd been having them since last night, but then today I ended up in A&E with them. I got my friend to ring him so many times. I dragged myself out the cubicle numerous times (well about 7) to ring him. When I got through he said to call him when I knew for sure. I couldn't believe it, I mean, he's the father and he loves me.

Anyway, I got discharged this evening, it was food poisining, and as well as being relieved I was so upset that he didn't care. I'm tempted to tell him I lost the baby, so that I can just have it and not let him know it's his. Or maybe even just tell him it's not his, so that he can leave us alone. But that's not fair on the baby, is it?

My heads a mess, I feel terrible and all I can do right now is think about how killing myself will make it all go away.

[lizzydrippin]

For godsake why don't you stop thinking about yourself for one minute and start thinking about your existing child. What love and attention does she get when you're crying and moping about this user of a man who really has no feelings for you apart from an itch between his legs. What difference do you think it would make to him whether you tell him you lost the baby? or that the baby isn't is? he couldn't care less who's the baby is as he's made it fairly obvious he is only interested in you because he only has to tell you a few sweet nothings and you'll lay on your back for him. The only people who will really suffer if you kill yourself is your daughter and the baby you are carrying. PLEASE GROW UP!