Someone must be able to help me!

[tamirra]

Im a 43 year old woman with two grown up children, the problem is my sex life with my husband, ive completely gone off sex years ago, i had a hysterectomy at the age of 25 since then my sex life has gone down hill gradually until now where it is non existant, i have been to the doctor had different h.r.t to try to help, implants, patches, gels spoken to the doctor and the nurse nobody can or wants to help and im so worried after 22 years of marriage that my husband is going to get so frustrated that he is going to wander, he says he never would but who knows when it gets so tough for them, i wouldnt blame him if he did and i probally wouldnt leave him if he did as i only have myself to blame. I have tried herbal products too but its just a waste of money, i really need help please someone must know of a pill or something that would, i never ever feel like it, i never think about it in which case i NEVER want it. Help me please. xxxxx

[zzxxee]

senior carer in a private e.m.i home and doing my nurse training in the 2nd year

[puddicat]

tera i agree just waiting for tamirra to get back to us!

[zzxxee]

tammira sorry this has turned into such a stupid mundane battle with puddicat. it sounds like you have had a bad experience with your g.p i would recomend seeing another doctor and just trying to get some relasionshi councilling regarding your physical problem is it not worth a try? then hopefully they maybe able to help you good luck x

[tamirra]

Hi everyone and thank you for your support in this matter, i have spoken to who i think would have helped me, ive even had hypnotherapy another waste of time and money, as puddicat says i cant take the role as i have no interest what so ever to do so, if i had the slightest urge too then i would certainly have something to work on, but i dont! I just wish i had that tiny weeney bit of sexual feeling but ive got absoloutly nothing what so ever, i love my husband dearly what makes it even worse is that he is of mediteranean origin which as most of you know they are highly sexed at the best of times, which makes me worried that he will search else where even though he is forever telling me how much he loves me, i just want to be normal and have that sexual feeling of being " randy " i cant remember what that feels like, when i do lay back and think of England it hurts as im so dry have tried lubricants but its all just a waste of time. xxxx

[puddicat]

I do so understand tamirra, i have booked a appt for next week,can you tell me what you were prescribed?i have nothing left inside, so i dont know where they are going to start with any options, if any, you are only young and i know that you hanger for the closeness you had, if i am prescribed anything i will get back to you, and maybe you can tell me if its ok,we wont give up until we have explored every option take carex

[tigerlily11]

I'm 45 Tam. I have just been through such a patch but it didn't last nearly as long as yours has.
There may be many causes, but it would appear you have tried all the physical cures so prehaps it is in your head, which does not mean that it's nothing serious.
There are some days for me like today when I want to be at it all day and tomorrow may be completely the opposite.
But unlike you I know why. I'm going through the change.
I hope you can find out what it is thats stopping you but consider this.
You have been like this for 33 years you say and still your husband is there with you and not some other woman. If he was going to he would have by now. If a man is going to stray it takes little for him to do it, but I think he loves and cares for you enough to stick with you.
It might help to see some one about your own fears and then deal with the sex thing.
Take care and god luck. XX

[tigerlily11]

Opps sorry my finger got stuck on the 3 it should 22 I know. :-)

[tamirra]

Hi Puddicat,
Well after my total hysterectomy i was put on h.r.t which has been changed so many times cos of different problems, i am now on premarin but as mentioned previous i have tried different h.r.t`s eg, gels, patches, male testosterone patches they did seem to work slightly but the side effects i got were a deeper masculine voice and more hair, which i couldnt be doing with, numerous h.r.t tablets, herbal pills, inplants, the inplant was the latest thing i tried but my body rejected it and threw it out , i have many scars on my stomach due to the hysterectomy, then i had to have my ovaries removed as they left them in hoping they would carry on producing which they didn`t, so i have scars from that, then i had to have another procedure as my vagina was sealed together at the top inside due to the hysterectomy which they had to operate to unstick, then i have the scars from the inplants, my tummy looks like a t-bag, but he still loves me. So really they only thing that did seem to work slightly were the male patches, but please if you are prescribed something let me know and i will go and seek more help, would you like my email address? Thank you to all that have tried to help. xxx

[puddicat]

yep tamirra go ahead would love your email addyxx

[tamirra]

My body feels like its 60 i get so tired all the time even though im only 43, people say i look good for my age but i certainly dont feel it. xx

[tamirra]

Hi Puddicat its
[email protected]

[puddicat]

Will sent you a tester emailx

[Rtaxron]

Hi tamirra,

My ex wife was going through the same a few years ago but not as long as you have, and she was only 34.

We went to see a councilor and it made things worse, and in the end I had an affair and the marriage finished.

She told us that when we go to bed, we should be naked and just stroke each others bodies but not caress each others private parts, and definitely not have sex the first 2 weeks.

That was just hell for me and very frustrating, which ended up in arguments etc.

Hope this helps, good luck.

[tamirra]

Thats what i thought and im certainly not risking losing him to an affair, i just dont know anymore, nobody seems to want to know or help me. xx

[Rtaxron]

I thought I heard there a female version of Viagra available?

[Ethel]

Viagra does nothing if the desire isn't there in the first place

[puddicat]

Ethel i would try anything, i am a bit older than tamirra, but dont see i should give up on my sex life, wish the consultant had told me i might feel this way, but they dont care about feelings and alike!!!

[tamirra]

Puddicat you hit the nail on the head, they tell you NOTHING! which makes it so much worse.

[zzxxee]

not all of them are the same you no

[tamirra]

No im not saying they are but obviously my surgeon and puddicats were.